Tuesday, March 31, 2009

121.1. It feels so weird to say it's unintentional!

I haven't been eating enough. Between the software launch and taxes, I've just not taken the proper time to eat! I'm NOT complaining though. In fact, if I could just see the 100 teens that would be sweet! I know I will in P4 though which is less than a week away when I will start exercising again. New jeans should be here today! WOOT!

Monday, March 30, 2009


Ordered some new clothes yesterday. :)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sorry for the delay - supremely busy with the business launch!


I am totally out of clothes. Keep in mind when purchasing HCG and the supplies that your expenses DO NOT end there! :) I must go shopping as the only pants that fit me are the ones I JUST bought and I can't wear them every day!

This is what has kept me from being more punctual: http://wanderingstar.com

Thursday, March 26, 2009

shut UP!!!

Okay, I had to go out shopping because I needed something professional to wear tomorrow at the recruitment training. I was actually nervous that 8s would be too small.

I was consistently between a size 4 and a size 6! I actually zipped up size 2 pants!!!

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!



I even went OUT to eat yesterday. I had eggs benedict sans muffin. Was delicious, but I was worried that the hollandaise sauce might throw me off. Apparently not. So happy about that!

11 more days of P3...

Today I am getting my hair done and getting an outfit before a meeting I have tomorrow for candidate recruitment. All I have are size 10 suits and they simply do not fit anymore! I was hesitating on buying a new outfit until I knew whether or not I was doing the smart lipo (which I am definitely doing, I just need to figure out when), but I MUST have something to wear tomorrow! So hair and outfit. Yesterday I bought new sexy underwear. God, that felt good!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

WOOOOOOOOOO I love this protocol! 124.3 !

Higher than I'd like but within my 2 pound range! More later - in a mad rush!

Monday, March 23, 2009

2 words - STEAK DAY

I knew it. I just KNEW it. I fell into the salsa and cheese (no chips, at least I was low carb) and then late at night after I'd had a couple glasses of wine, my husband brought home from work some round tip that a co-worker's wife had made in a slow cooker. I didn't know what she slow cooked it in as far as ingredients but I ate some anyway. VERY salty and SO good. I just KNEW I'd be up - way up today. 125.9! 2.5 over LDW!

I have to go to the dentist for a cleaning this morning and will stop at whole foods after to pick up a ginormous steak.


At least I know it will work!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Forgot to post! 123.6 - up .2 over LDW. Meh, not bad!

I'm cleaning like crazy - the house needed it BADLY. I have also organized the clothes - I have easily 4-5 bags to give away, and 3 from the kids. Feels good to get it all done!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

123.1 - .3 below LDW


This weekend is my weekend to do a major Spring Clean. I am gathering ALL the clothing that is slightly too big and giving them to my mom (I have a lot of really lovely J.Jill shirts that just don't look right on me anymore and my mom prefers to wear large even though she's only slightly heavier than me and 3 inches taller), and the rest that are too big will be donated. I actually have a friend not far from me losing on HCG and she's a size larger than I throughout her journey so she's getting all my size 10s. This will free up a lot of room in my closet! Much needed. I held on to clothes that would work for me at various sizes with hopes and prayers I'd be able to eventually lose this weight - so funny seeing much of that too big now. I expect when it's all said and done, I'll need to go shopping.

I'm rethinking the smart lipo/tummy tuck/breast augmentation right now. Times are so tough and though we are currently in a good position, one just never knows. I still have appointments for free consultations. We'll see. Hopefully the software will really take off and it will be a non-issue. My smart lipo consultation is Tuesday and the tummy tuck/breast consultation is the end of April.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Pinch me, I must be dreaming.

I have to admit part of me is still in disbelief about my weight loss. I had worked (HARD) for 8 years to lose this weight and nothing worked. I literally wore out exercise equipment and wrote down every bite and sip I took into a computer program and still couldn't lose. To suddenly, within 6 months, be 3 pounds over the weight I was when I met my husband just blows my mind. I hate to say it but part of me feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop because this is somewhat surreal.

123.6 - .3 above LDW

Better. I'd still prefer to be BELOW my LDW, but this is the right direction.

Not much else to say - in a mad rush to get to my daughter's performance!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

123.9 (cue the huge sigh of relief)

I know the fear was irrational that the steak day might not work, but it was intense! I am so relieved.

Beyond relieved. :)

Thanks for the hand holding!!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I'm scared.

I've never had P3 issues before and I have to admit, I'm worried about the last few days. I felt so fortunate last P3 to not only stabilize so well, but even 4 pounds or so under my LDW. To be this far over has me completely unnerved! I am even worried that tomorrow will show a gain and not a loss regardless of the steak day. Trying to be calm...

I parked my car funny

A sure sign I have PMS.

I think I'll buy some organic coconut oil as well and see if that helps.

125.3. Nope, not happy. .1 away from a steak day but I think I'll just do one.

Given my tender breasts, my teariness, my craving of salt, and the zit under my lip, this has to be period related. Has to. Anyway, I have a big and juicy buffalo steak waiting for me for dinner.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

124 - now .6 OVER LDW - not liking this direction

I know it's normal but bleah. I did fall into the wine and bacon.

Monday, March 16, 2009


Carl's Jr. low carb burger with jalapenos. :) Still .6 under LDW

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I am sipping on a glass of Cabernet after a fantastic date

I admit, I'm a little worried that cutting the time between last dose and P3 by 3.5 hours. Tomorrow will be telling.

I dressed up and wore my size small petite dress to dinner, and I swear to GOD the barback (who looked like Matthew McConaughey) shot me a grin that couldn't have been taken as anything less than a flirt. HOT DAMN! Of course that doesn't compare to all the attention I got/am getting from my husband. God, it feels great to be back!

Hope the weight stabilizes - like I said, the timing worries me a bit. Also, the meal was very salty so hopefully I drank enough water!

Me and my daughter before I left for dinner

122.2 and P3 tonight!

What a nice surprise to wake up to! This has me just a hair over a pound under my last dose weight. I sure suddenly see it in the mirror.

I'm going to measure today and see how I did inches wise. I've released 46 pounds.

Tonight... FILET MIGNON! I am so looking forward to going out on a real date at a real restaurant with my husband!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Okay, 123.9 - I am totally calling this round the Rollercoaster Round... and I am also done. Done, done, done.

No more dosing. I am happy. 123.9 and I'm constipated to boot. I took some smooth move tea before bed but have yet to have a movement. I am on coffee cup #2 so I do believe I'll be okay very soon.

My kids have that parents' night out thing at their martial arts tomorrow. I will be officially in P3 tomorrow night around 10 pm. I am hoping that starting P3 a couple hours early won't mess me up as we are going out to dinner. Filet mignon!! Yea!

I am totally doing a happy dance. I am sure I can get to my ultimate goal on my own. Less than 10 pounds to go!

With the help of HCG, I've released 45 pounds (all without exercise). 45 POUNDS. What a journey. Back in size 8s. baby!!

Thank you all so much for everything.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

buffalo steak! YUM! P2 steak day... an experiment!

Okay, so I've pretty much decided I'm calling it a week early to stop. 123.4 was a beautiful weight to see. I am going to get smart lipo, tummy tuck, and boob job (probably in that order) and will most likely drop 10 pounds from that alone so this is a good weight to stop. Now because I am 2 pounds over my LDW, technically I need to do a steak day, BUT I'm still in P2 until Saturday night.

I had buffalo steak tonight - it is the same in calories and fat content as chicken breast and it is absolutely scrumptious. So here is what I'm thinking. I think I'll get myself 2 more tomorrow and do a buffalo steak day and see if I can't shake those pounds off from today without being in P3. 1 steak is 200 calories. If I do nothing but the steak, I can stay under the 500 and still do a steak day. I like it! What do you think?

Why is it on days I gain I'm starving and on loss days I'm fine?


Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! What the...


Weird. Weird, weird, weird.

Okay, so no dosing today which would make my last dose weight 123.4. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

On another note, my foot is totally swollen and in pain. This happened over the holidays too - lasted about a week and then the swelling and pain stopped. I have shoes that I think aggravated some problem. It was more painful and swollen yesterday than any other time so I wonder if the inflammation is causing the strange fluctuations.

I may have to have a doctor check this out but I don't want to do that until I'm off the protocol.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Welcome to my rollercoaster

I am so tired and hungry... I know it's only a week left but maybe I should stop tomorrow. I am TIRED AND HUNGRY!

up half a pound but I only have 8 days left

I can go on!

Monday, March 9, 2009

My wedding dress fits.



.1 loss but I looked back at my last round and last stall - had a big loss, 2 days of nothing and then another big loss so I'll stick with this until at least Wednesday. If I stop Wednesday, I'll be P3 by Saturday evening - there's a parent's night out at my kids' martial arts class and my husband and I could go out for dinner. We shall see!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

This is good.

This plan makes me feel in control which has relaxed me to no end! That in itself is so valuable, especially when it comes to releasing weight!

Since the stall is broken and I'm lower than I've ever been on the protocol, I am totally at peace with stopping early. I hated the idea of stopping at 127 when I'd seen 126! I know, silly. Still, I feel this odd wonderful control knowing that I call the shots - body releases, I continue. Doesn't (or heaven forbid I gain) I STOP and my last dose weight is 125! :D VOILA!

My husband and I went through some old camping pictures from last Summer when we got our German Shepherd puppy to look to see how quickly she'd grown. I came across many, many photos of myself that floored me. My GOD. As soon as he emails them to me, I'll post them. I was huge and completely in denial. I knew I was overweight and unhappy but I was a heart attack waiting to happen. I hesitated typing that as it sounds so morbid, but I shocked myself.

The other thing I've thought about quite often is that all my life I've been a normal weight, except the last 8 years. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. What trauma he's had to endure with my misery and bless that man's heart, he always made me feel sexy no matter what size I was.

I tried on a dress I'd not worn for 8 years. I love this dress. I've been waiting to wear it again.

It fit today. Size small petite. I looked in the mirror and for the first time in 8 years, I recognized myself. I couldn't help but cry as I declared in full voice, "I'M BACK!"

My stall broke... in a BIG way!

Well, I had decided yesterday morning that I 'd skip yesterday's dose. If I had a major drop today I'd continue. If not, I was done. With the hunger, I pretty well had decided last night I was done (and I'd not expected any change).

Well, I got change.

2 pounds of change.

127.2 yesterday. 125 today. That stall done broke, y'all. I am DOSING today!! 10 more days to go. I can do this so long as it continues to work. Now I certainly don't expect anymore 2 pound drops but if I have a downward trend, I can hang in there. If it stops again, so do I.

As of now I want to thank you all again and do my happy dance (insert happy dance here).

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Picture time

Start Round 1 - 168 - after round 1 138


127 :D Normal BMI, size 8 from OBESE size 16. I love HCG and thanks Shar for this!!

I'm really hungry

I have to quit! I know, I've said it before, but I really have to quit. :)


I am up .3 to almost wash the loss from yesterday. I am feeling lost. If I stop I potentially throw out 5 pounds more I could lose. If I keep going and continue to stay this weight, it may kill me. *sigh*

Okay, I'm not dosing today. If I lose a significant amount tomorrow, I'll dose tomorrow. If not, I'm done.

Friday, March 6, 2009

October 19-30 2008

I just re-read it. Wow. I already went through this, only I didn't give up (got damn close to though) and I did break the stall and I did get into the 130s after gaining a pound and stalling for 6 or so days. Today is day 6 for me being above my lowest weight this round. 11 more days. Surely I can stick it out for 11 more days, especially if that means I could get close to 120. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.


I didn't dose last night but .4, for me, is fairly significant. *SIGH* BACK to plan B (or A depending on if/how much I release) - I'll see how Saturday goes. I am still .2 above LAST Saturday but if things have truly loosened up for me, I can hang in there. Plan A is 11 more days. Plan B just 2.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

forget Sunday. Now I'm hungry.

The mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion I can deal with so long as there's hope, however add in hunger and forget it. I've never gone over 450 calories. Today I hit 501 and I'm HUNGRY. My body is screaming for me to stop. I'm going to listen. My last dose was this morning. I will, if need be, do one last final and SHORT round this Fall.

Thanks again for all the support. It means more than you know!!


I'm going until Sunday. Saturdays (as weird as this sounds) are my best days and I'd be remiss not to give it one more Saturday. If things shake loose, I'll continue. If not, Saturday will be my final dose day. Onward.

Time to decide


Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I won't make one today as to whether I stop or not but I am thinking if I lose less than .5 tomorrow, I may stop dosing and move to P3. I plan on getting lipo/tummy tuck/breast surgery this year and given I am within 10-12 pounds of my goal, it wouldn't be a bad time to move forward. I can always do a short round in the future if I absolutely feel I need to. Given how little I have to lose, that would be a walk in the park compared to the last 2 rounds.

I'll keep you posted!


I'm really trying not to be depressed but I can't help it. I don't know what's happening. Is this an honest to God Stall? Why all the weirdness this round? I have lost a net total of 11 pounds in 35 days. I'm exhausted, I'm cranky, I'm depressed. How can I even be over the 126.6 I got down to?

I know big picture, I've done fantastic. I went from a size 16 to an 8/10. I went from obese to healthy. I've lost over 40 pounds in 6 months. This is all really fantastic and I'm only 10-12 pounds away from my ultimate goal weight. I'm really trying to stay focused on that and to be grateful for that but it's so hard right now. I just want to sob.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Damn! I just don't get it.

Well, this is one of those messages I need to receive loud and clear.

The only thing I can control here is when I dose and what I eat and drink. What my body does with that is what my body does with that. After last week's weirdness and this weeks apparent getting back into gear, these past 3 days have me boggled.

Things moved (a bit too much) yesterday morning. I should have read the instructions on that tea! Take one cup at bedtime. I read that that after 2 cups in the morning. Ugh, I was miserable for a bit. Now, I am back to feeling backed up this morning. Maybe I'll try this again tonight.

Well, 115 won't happen with this round. I'll be lucky to get to 119-120. Could be a lot worse.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Backed up and back up. 128. UGH.

I am brewing smooth move tea. This is the first time on the protocol I've been really constipated. I was so thrilled to be 126.6 - yesterday it was up to 126.7, had a bit of a movement but not much, and now today. 128. UGH. back to overweight. Well, at least I know it isn't "real" weight - couldn't be. I will work on getting this to VERY quickly release!

On my last batch of HCG starting today. Last dose day should be on or around the 17th. I'll be in P4 just in time for Easter! I am one fab-o timer.