114.5 on suck up. I consider myself officially stable! What a GREAT feeling.
Not so great feeling? The sore throat and stuffy head. I gotta say, thank GOD I am in P4 today because I am just downing chicken veggie soup like it's going out of style. It has some non-P3 friendly ingredients.
I am trying to relax. I've been dieting for so long. Finally being at the weight I want to be, I need to retrain myself and relax. To not worry about what this food is going to do. I need to eat what I crave because I'm craving healthy foods. I need to relax.
Obviously I'm not doing a steak day today. I have the steaks ready if I need them, and will freeze them for later if I don't need one tomorrow.
I have so much I want to share but am just feeling crappy. Part of it is the cold I caught, and I'm sure part is hormonal as I am crying at the drop of a hat. I know much of that is because I'm back home and back to reality, but I literally just burst into tears without any provocation. It's also the fear of the surgery. If I let myself think about it, my stomach goes into knots. I absolutely panic.
I'll write more tomorrow. I do have much to process and I love processing with all of you. You really help me, more than I can say.