Yesterday I had a small tick up to 135.6. I about fell off the scale this morning with a 3 pound drop from that!
Extra protein seems to be making a difference. I have to wonder when there's less fat to release if the body feels the need to hand onto it with less protein. I'm less than 7 pounds from being considered a normal weight. I know when I had more to lose, fewer calories worked better.
I've also been working hard on dissecting the emotional poisons that I have been dealing with, and finally feel very close, if not there, to letting it all go. I need to understand it before I can do that, including others' roles. I've made tremendous progress. I feel really good.
So, here's my average so far this round: .42 pounds a day. I normally count on about .5. It'll be interesting to see if that average improves, which, knock on wood, I think there's a real possibility it will!
Wow. I didn't cut out the fruit. I ate protocol but added an additional 250 grams of ultra lean steak for a total of 770 calories.
If I want to end the round, today would be the earliest to do so, being day 21. That said, I have enough for 21 more days and will now go on unless or until my body says no more, or I reach the end of my supply. I think I may have needed more calories. This happened in a previous round.
I was so relieved to see that number on the scale! Having lost only 5 pounds in 20 days was so frustrating. 7 in 21 sounds so much better. Onward.
So, in 20 days I've managed 5 pounds. I should have released twice this so far. Yesterday I stuck to the normal protocol thinking maybe all I needed was the boost from the spinach.
I'm depressed. I hate this. I think I've done too many rounds and my body is done. I hate that I lost my mind this last year as I don't know how to undo the damage. I start again today with more protein, fewer/no fruit and I'll keep going as planned.
One huge benefit is the break in pattern of eating the way I had in the last year. I needed the pattern interrupt. I have to find the positive here.
I weigh my food, I log every gram, I drink my water.
I'm near tears with frustration.
Since this isn't working, I'm going to change tactics. I don't have enough apples for an Apple day, but I have enough protein to eat nothing but that. Screw it.
EDITED TO ADD:
It will be painful. I made and ate 2 huge bowls of creamed spinach soup. Basically 2 bags of spinach boiled, salted, and blended into a slimy pulp. I remember in past rounds this always resulted in a gastronomical event that was extremely painful but with beautiful results on the scale.
I also remember a round where increasing my calories to 750 resulted in jump starting my losses, and having great ones. I'm doubling my protein today.
Well, back to the land of frustrating rounds, however, I am not going to complain. Here's what the last few days looked like:
VLCD 11 139.6 - no change from the previous day
VLCD 12 139.4 - meh.
Today, almost a 2 pound drop! I remember past rounds that were like this. Several plateau days followed by a beautiful drop. If I can continue like this, I still have a shot of reaching my goal of 119, or at least close to it. I must remain focused, especially on the days when it feels like this isn't working for me despite my efforts.
I'm working on the emotional crap that I'm releasing along with the weight, however, it's extremely personal and I'm thinking it may not be necessary to share here.it just goes to show that it's important to be vigilant with one's emotional health as well as physical. I neglected both, especially this last year when things came to a head for me in several areas of my life. I finally feel a sense of naked freedom when it comes to that.
On a much lighter note, I have discovered that so long as I can have soup on this protocol, I'm happy. My favorite is asparagus (creamed) and tomato basil. I'm so pleased that I'm still enjoying it! I've also discovered a fun recipe for my cooked frozen strawberries. Normally I make them with cinnamon and vanilla stevia, but I've started adding a splash of apple cider vinegar and a pinch of cayenne. Oh my GOD. This is really fantastic stuff!!
My breasts are achy and I've been crabby and hungry today, so I'm for sure having my period. I have a sneaking suspicion tomorrow I may see a gain. I hope I'm pleasantly surprised to see another strong release, but I'm trying to remain calm and not allow the scale to dictate my mood (unless, of course, it does go down and then I'll do another happy dance). :)
Yes! I must have started my cycle. I am so very happy to see this 1.6 pound drop overnight. My average per round is usually .5 a day. If I can get just a couple more days like this, I'll be back on track. I'm really hoping between the hormonal shift and the new thyroid dose, I'll see great progress. 33 days and 21 pounds to go. It sounds completely mad to believe that is in the realm of possibilities, but I know it is, especially if my body will make up for what it was holding onto the last week.
So, I'm in love with asparagus soup. I boil it with not a lot of water and garlic salt, and a pinch of cayenne. I then puree it. A bundle of asparagus is about 70 calories after the ends have been snipped off and I never eat the grissini, and simply make up those calories with veggies. This is so satisfying and delicious.
I looked up cucumber recipes as I have about 7 large ones here. We're about to be snowed in until probably Monday, and the idea of eating them cold isn't appealing so I looked up baked cucumber recipes and soup recipes. I know! Cucumber soup? Hot?? It's not bad, people! I really quite liked it! I'll be having asparagus soup, cucumber soup, and onion soup until the weather gets nicer. :)
I mentioned in my last post the facebook page. I've been posting links to these recipes there, in case you're interested:
Day 1 load 142
Day 2 load 141.6
Day 1 VLCD 142.6
Day 2 VLCD 143.6
Day 3 VLCD 143.4
Day 4 VLCD 143.4
Day 5 VLCD 142.4
Day 6 VLCD 142.2 (yesterday)
Day 7, today, 141.6.
How did I get so screwed up??
So, in 9 days, 7 VLCD days, I've lost a whopping .4 pounds! WOOTTTTTTT!!!
Ok, so shift. I know I'm doing everything right (though my plans of adding exercise has not been as successful as I'd like - so far, just 1 day and today I'm racing to get to work).
I have to treat this as a cleanse and let go. I'm on my new thyroid meds. Today I should start my "period" (and when I start my progesterone up again, I'll be skipping every Friday so my "periods" won't be as dramatic). What more can I do?
Hooray!! I was remembering my first round and how every time I got on the scale, it felt like Christmas. Down, down, down! I would literally squeal. This round was feeling a lot more like Groundhog's Day (how appropriate). It was so good to see I released a pound. It's not much compared to the extremely frustrating start, but we're early in the round and if I have a few days like this, it will make up for it. I take progesterone and stop 4 days a month for my non-existent period, so I stop the same time every month. I always stop on the 4th. I think this somewhat regulates my cycle and would definitely put me in PMS. It will be very telling to see how releases continue this next week in particular. It would be so fantastic if we got rolling now.
I know it's a long shot, but my goal is to get to 119 by March 10. That's pushing it. Really pushing it. It would mean that in the next 35 days I'd need to release 23.4 pounds. I'm hoping my body will make up for the slow start, and as I said, I'm adding 30 minutes on the tread climber 5 days a week. This may be enough. I'll be thrilled to get to even the low to mid 120s, but I'm keeping my lofty goal. It's keeping me focused.
I have a doctors appointment this morning with the head MD at the practice I've been going to. She hasn't been taking new patients but is available now. She's apparently the hormone expert, especially when it comes to thyroid. I'm excited to meet her, but nervous at the same time. I need to tell her why I put on 15 pounds since the last time they saw me as well as explain I'm doing a round of HCG. Fortunately, many doctors are now aware of the protocol and open to it. Here's hoping.
Off to dose! TTFN!
EDITED TO ADD:
I just got back from the doctor and loved, loved, loved her. She said my thyroid has tanked since last June (when my father's health crashed - he passed a month later). She's totally changing my dose and increasing my progesterone as well, both of which will help tremendously with my weight. YAY!!!
I took too long to update, but it's been crazy with work and family. In fact, I only have a few minutes before I have to run into the office and go over an inspection report with a client.
Pre-load weight was 142.
Post load weight was 141.6
I decided to add a 2nd load weight, this time just a steak day (but lots of steak and a little cheese).
Post load/steak day was 142.6
VLCD day 1 143.6
VLCD day 2 143.4
VLCD day 3 143.4
Needless to say, I'm frustrated. I'd hoped since I lost my mind the last year with the emotional roller coaster I was on and the emotional eating I did, that I would have more typical results. Most people lose the most in this first week.
Given I've had rounds like this where hunks fly off later, I am staying the course, albeit with the fear that this isn't going to work. I'm determined to go until March 10th. My in-laws will be here mid March. They saw me almost exactly a year before that and I was in the 120s. My brother is getting married the end of March. I am determined to ride this through.
I don't have a uterus and I do have ovaries, and I suspect I may have started my round during PMS. That's all I can hope. I'm weighing and logging every calorie. I even worked out Friday (a habit I want to form while doing this - just a half hour walk on the treadclimber week days).
I haven't delved into the why I'm here yet, but I will. I'm not angry at myself at all. Actually, learning not to be afraid of food was both liberating and educational.
Sorry I didn't respond to the comments on the last post. I have got to figure out how to set up getting notified when they come in. I am glad to see you guys here!!