More

The wedding was the best wedding I'd ever attended. I've often heard no one can enjoy their own wedding, but that simply wasn't the case. We had a wonderful day with a mix of American and Dutch traditions incorporated throughout the ceremony.

Saying goodbye to my parents again broke my heart.

We returned to Holland. Shortly after, I started full time Dutch language school. A week later, I discovered I was pregnant with our son. I remember being shocked, ecstatic, and scared to death all at once. It wasn't planned. We had wanted to spend a year travelling, spending alone time together, and doing all we could do that would be difficult with children. Well, we ended up taking advantage of the nine months until our son was born.

The night I found out I was pregnant, I stopped smoking cold turkey after 10 years. This was the beginning of a long strain that has only grown over the years with my husband. 10 years later, and he is still smoking. I take every puff personally. That's a lot of resentment. Part of it is because I know he can quit. He was a bartender for a few years and he was once bet that he couldn't quit for a year. If he won the bet, he'd win a crate of Grolsch beer. He won the bet. The minute he was declared the winner, he lit up a cigarette.

Originally when I moved to Holland, we'd made a deal that we'd spend a year there, and then a year in the States and decide where we wanted to be after that. Because I became pregnant, that changed our time frame a bit. We stayed in Holland for 2 years. 2 years in once place. 2 years in the same apartment! I'd NEVER experienced that before. The most I'd ever stayed in one house was 6 months.

I had my son there. When he was 10 months old, we made the big leap. I have to say I cannot express enough gratitude for my husband for what he did. This is a man raised in Holland, in a culture and family that values roots. He quit his job, sold all the furniture, bought plane tickets for all of us to Vegas (closest airport to St. George, Utah where my parents were at the time), and we moved. No job waiting for us, just moved. Between the time the tickets were bought, my mother accepted another job in Salt Lake City, so we had to buy additional tickets from Vegas to SLC. The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.

More to come. Again, thanks for listening to me. I think once I'm done, it will all make sense to me as to what has happened and where I am.