Done with the drain (knock on wood)!

Evening, my peeps!

It's GONE. I was so worried it was going to be as painful as the last time, but knew at least it would only be the one side this time. I gave myself a good pep talk and went in.

She snipped out the stitches holding it in which was uncomfortable but bearable. She then asked me if I wanted to know when she was going to yank it out. I whimpered, "I don't know!" and she smiled and said "It's done!". What? It's done? I didn't even feel it! "This is what I've been dreading all day? That was nothing!" What a relief! So now you know, drains going back don't hurt either direction. Not a bit.

She checked that spot where the infected stitch was removed and said it needs to dry out a bit more so less neosporin. It was a relief that it didn't need to be restitched.

As soon as the incision scabs where I had the drain, I can bathe. YES!

Now it's a wait and see. I have an appointment to go back Friday to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again with the excess fluid.  Please think flat tummy normalcy thoughts for me. I would really like to just shut up and heal now, thank you very much. :)

Oh, I tried on my size 4s today and managed to button them but juuuuust barely. I asked her again when I could realistically expect the swelling to be down as I was sure I hadn't gained THAT much weight over the holidays! 3 months for the breasts to be totally normal and 6 MONTHS for the tummy. Okay, that said, being able to button the 4s is probably a good sign. I am so glad I've not gotten rid of my size 6s! They were getting so loose but I'm sure they'll serve me well as I deflate.

I'm thinking I MAY buy more HCG for a potential round 6 months down the line, just in cases. Like a smoker who quits but needs a security blanket and has a carton of cigarettes in the back of their closet, I'll have that HCG there knowing that I can ALWAYS do another round. Silly as that may seem, I think it might help me relax and goodness knows I can use all the peace I can get. I am so very highly sprung.

My thoughts are with you all who are releasing, stabilizing, gearing up for surgery, and looking for steady work. XOXO You're in the Light.

One more night with the drain.

It's official. The drain comes out tomorrow. YEA!! I am not looking forward to the pain, but I am not nervous. I will take tylonel, but no anti-anxiety drugs. I want to be able to drive myself. This may sound strange, but I've been cooped up here for too long. If I can drive myself and get this taken care of, that means I can take myself to a grocery store afterwards and just walk. I am desperate to just be OUT.

I am hoping I won't need another stitch, but  if so I will simply insist they numb me before doing it. You have no idea how much I want a bath! If all is well tomorrow, I can have a bath on Saturday. AH, a BATH!!!

OH, and I'm not weighing myself for 3 more weeks. They told me the swelling would be mostly over 6 weeks post op so no weighing until then. I can't face it otherwise. If I have to do another round, so be it. I hope I don't (of course). Still, knowing it's a viable option that WILL work if I need it is such a comfort. I fell into the wine yesterday and had a doughnut (I NEVER eat them) last night as well. Gah! It's clean eating today! I'm hoping the periodic steak days and protein days are correcting any issues.

Here's to y'all and your success!!! Thank you SO MUCH for being a part of mine and the continued support and comments!

Gearing up to drive with the drain!

I'm dressed, without the girdle, and so far pretty comfy with hopes this drive will be non-eventful. I have one rent check ready to be deposited and a kid stool in my car for my son to check the mail for me to see if any others came in. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

My mother sent me this article from the Daily Om about healing vibrations.  I went to iTunes and downloaded this most WONDERFUL CD for healing and chakra balancing. I am loving it. I highly recommend it. I am hoping it will help progress my healing. I can tell you I already feel more peaceful. It's beautiful.

I am right on track for having the drain removed on Wednesday. A day that, again, I dread but am also so looking forward to. I will feel much more free.

Technically I can wear a normal bra without an underwire tomorrow and I have 3 I bought waiting for me, but that spot where he removed the infected stitch still isn't closed. I emailed a somewhat blurry picture to the office but she said it didn't look infected and was probably just slow to heal and that it could wait until Wednesday to be seen. I will wait until that spot is healed before I do the new bras. I have neosporin on it and a gauze pad. Hopefully it will seal up soon.

Hope this wasn't too much info! I'm feeling so much better. Thanks again for all the support! I think it's so cool that I have you all to listen to me and to cheer me on. :)

Love ya!

UPDATE


I drove and survived!

Nervous about tomorrow

Hellooooo!

Well, tomorrow is the big day. The kids are going back to school and I have to get back to work, only I will still have this drain!! I honestly don't know if I can drive with it. Unfortunately, I had a total of 35 ml drainage so the drain stays until it's 3 days in a row of 25 ml or less. I believe today may be day 1 as it has slowed tremendously. Still, this leaves me with at least 2 days of ferrying the kids to and from school. I find that if I don't wear the girdle, it's less painful so perhaps if I could just manage the driving girdle free.

Sorry about all the complaining. It's hard feeling out of control and helpless. I hate too that I have no idea what's happening weight wise. I have a steak so I'm doing a steak day. No clue if I need to. That said, I have started logging my calories again, just for some sense of control in my life now.

I not only am a Realtor, but a property manager as well. I am still waiting on 2 rent checks to come in. Unfortunately, the post office box is the top row and I'm 5' tall and shouldn't be stretching. This means I either send my son (who is 9 but about as tall as I am ) with a step stool and have him get the mail for me, or I have my husband do it after work and I make the deposit the next day. Either way, it's a pain. I really need just 1 more week of extra help.

I sure am enjoying reading all your blogs. It really helps me feel connected! Love to all y'all and CONGRATS  to you guys starting another round with your kick ass losses! I am impressed!

Happy palindrome day! 01022010 Have supper for breakfast!

Hey, hey lovies.

I managed to pay the bills today which is in and of itself a huge accomplishment.

Yesterday was hard. I cried on and off all day. I suspect it's that TOM and that perhaps it was a withdrawal symptom from the klonopin. The entire day was off. For one thing, and I know this may sound silly, but I slept in until 10:30 which I haven't done since the operation and I forgot to set the DVR to record the Rose Parade. I caught just the last half hour. Watching the parade with coffee and something sweet has been a family tradition long before I was born. It's something my mother did with her mother and then with me. It set the day off wrong to have missed it.

This drain is so uncomfortable. It is constantly jabbing me and trying to find a good position to be comfortable is impossible. I do manage to find ways where I am more comfortable, if you can call it that. I'm feeling well enough to want to do things but I'm trapped in my body. I am still soooo puffy (I can finally consistently see the bones in my feet though) and round and I feel as big and awkward (though I know I'm not) as when I weighed 169 pounds. I am round. I tried on my size 4s and barely managed to get them over my hips and couldn't button them. I have no idea if I've gained "real" weight on top of being already so swollen.

I believe they may be able to remove the drain on Monday and that does give me some hope. I'm still draining, but very little and the color has changed from blood red to yellowish pink (sorry if this is too much info). I managed about 25 ml yesterday. He wants me at that level or less for 3 days. I'd worry that this isn't working because I was at that level when they removed them last time, but the color was so different that I believe perhaps this is it. I truly hope so. I am so stir crazy. I have work I want to do. I am anxious to start exercising again (a week from Tuesday I should be able to). I want to be able to drive (walking is damned near impossible with this thing jabbing me).

So there is my pity party. Poor me. I do know this is my year for total transformation. Last year I awoke in my cocoon and fought hard to get out, and I'm still fighting but I know I will be released very soon physically, and this year my marriage will fight through the cocoon as well. It will transform. We love each other and that is worth fighting for. We're in a comfortable groove, but one that isn't healthy. We need to shake it up for ourselves and our family. A lot needs to change. I do have faith it will. I know he loves me as much as I love him and we'll do this for each other. I want my family to have a fighting chance at true happiness and freedom.

Thanks for listening to my babble. :) XOXO

And now for something completely different.

Happy New Year! Susan Miller's Astrology Zone Monthly forcast is UP!

Hey lovies,

Had an emotional and unpleasant blow out with the hubby last night that I won't get into, but I will say I told him I was sick to death of his smoking. Mercury is retrograde and when we have blow ups, it's always at this time. We agreed not to argue until January 16, when it goes direct. It's all sunshine and rainbows here today. :)

I am about to go read my monthly horoscope - this is by the same person who nailed it last month. Check yours out!