Thursday, October 30, 2008

Same - but really okay. :) Today was my last dose.

I took my final dose this evening until my next P2 round which begins December 29th (my first of 3 loading days, with my VLCD starting Jan 1). Tomorrow morning will be my last dose weight so I am hoping to lose at least .4-.6 pounds - this won't get me to the 130s, however I have 2 pounds I can play with either way as I stabilize. Well, 139.8 would be within that range with the loss I mentioned so here's hoping! An even bigger loss would be more than welcome, of course. :) Hear that bod? One final big release? :D

WHAT A JOURNEY! This has been one of the best things I've ever done for myself, if not the best thing. The weight released has been wonderful - 26.5 pounds so far (here's hoping it totals 27-28 total by tomorrow :) ), and that is incredible, but so is all that I've learned as well. I can sleep. Destructive patterns have been broken. I'm learning to listen to my body more than ever before. It really feels like a piece of the puzzle I've been missing finally fell into place. I feel like this is going to heal me.

I am nervous about P3 - I so want to stabilize. I am also excited to be able to eat again (and pretty well what I've been normally eating for the past few years of low carb, so I really don't feel like I'm missing anything). I will begin Yoga again too I think.

More to come. Thanks for sharing this with me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Just a few more days!

I start P3 on election day and hope to have major cause for celebration! Champagne is chilled...

Thanks you guys for the encouragement! It means SO much to me!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008


I'm going to shut up now. I'm still sick, sick, sick but I'm just going to ride through this last week (last dose is Nov 1) - I may get to the 130s yet but right now, I'm just going to shut up and ride.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

I'm sick, I'm tired, I'm depressed.

I have a hideous head cold and am on day 2 of a 3 day migraine.

I've had no loss in the last 2 days. It has become apparent this is slowing down to a grind. It's all so worth it when it's working but these long stretches of nothing are beating me up, and when I'm sick, I crave comfort food which is making me uncomfortable. I just want to curl up and drink unlimited chicken noodle soup.

I'm on the home stretch, but if I can't count on losing much more, I'm not sure why I'm continuing. I've already pushed the envelope going past 40 days. I'll have to do those 3 days of low calorie protocol eating even after I stop the hcg so I am really debating doing that sooner rather than later. I just had SO hoped to get back to the 130s, even if only by a couple ounces! Today I am 145 and I have been for 2 days. I have about a week left worth of hcg. At the rate I'm going, losing 5 pounds and 2 (yes, 5 pounds and 2) ounces seems almost impossible. It's a psychological and emotional need I have. Maybe I should just stick it out. I'm just feeling miserable.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Da nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh NUH! Down 1.4 pounds, bay bay!

BROKE the stall. I am at 145. I've released 23.7 pounds. I have until the end of the month - it's possible (barring no more stalls) that I could conceivably make it to the 130s! C'mon bod, let's DO THIS! We deserve it! Beaker, thanks for the encouragement!!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

146.4 and hungry

I'm not starving, but I definitely have a bit of a rumbly tumbly. That and no loss. Day 6. We know Dr. S. said 4-6 so I will reserve panicking for tomorrow. In the meantime, here is my plan:

Increase dose by one spray each time
Drop fruit again

Since I wasn't losing, I started back with the strawberries. Not to say cutting them out will make a difference. It probably won't (even if I do lose) - but it makes me feel like I'm doing something.

I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Officially stalled

I am 146.6 today. It's been 5 days with no loss. Here is what Pounds and Inches says about the plateau:

The Plateau

The second type of interruption we call a “plateau”. A plateau lasts 4-6 days and frequently occurs during the second half of a full course, particularly in patients that have been doing well and whose overall average of nearly a pound per effective injection has been maintained.

Let's hope this is truly what he describes as a plateau as tomorrow will be day 6.

I am SO grateful for the weight I've released.
I am SO grateful for the break in bad habits.
I am SO grateful I can SLEEP again without making myself pass out.

PLEASE body, please let's get into the 130s by this Halloween. Pretty please!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I'm not sure what's happening.

I have been steady the last couple days right at or around (within .2 pounds) of 146.4. Today I'm an entire pound up at 147.6. I am going to watch myself very carefully. I fear I may have hit immunity (I'm hungrier than usual the last half week as well so I tested my hcg and it's still good). I will watch it the next week or so. If I don't have a major loss, I'll go ahead and consider freezing my hcg and moving on to phase 3. I REALLY hope to get to the 130s before that, for my own peace of mind. I've gotten to this weight before over the years but it has been 6 years since I've been in the 130s and that would be a MAJOR accomplishment and barrier breaker. Think 130s thoughts for me please.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I was down another 1.6 pounds as of the 16th.

I am 146.4 pounds but have been now for 2 days - still, an impressive release! I am down a total of 22 pounds. I would LOVE to get to 129 before the end of this round (as 127 is "normal" for my height and I can stabilize between 2 pounds either way in P3 so I could lose 2 more without consequence once off the hcg) but I just don't know if I can lose 17.5 pounds in the next 14 days. In fact, I'm almost positive I cannot. I imagine best I'll do this round is another 7-8 more pounds. Still, that would be a total release of 30 pounds in 60 days, averaging .5 pounds a day which is the average for women on this diet. I've released 22 pounds in 45 days. WOW. I can actually fit in some of my 10s. I tried on a skirt that was WAY too tight a week ago and it is now loose. WOW. WOWWOWWOW. And I can sleep. :) This is the most amazing protocol.

So, most likely I'll be 138-139 by the end of this round. I will begin again December 28th for a 3 day load, and my VLCD round 2 starting on Jan 1. I hope to be at my goal weight by mid February to early March of between 110-115 pounds. For the first time in years, I feel confidant that it is not only possible, but totally doable. I haven't felt this empowered in years.

I will admit I have some trepidation about starting phases 3 and 4 - I so want to stabilize my weight to the lowest weight I reach on this protocol. I know I'm not alone and I've read many stories of those with the same fear who did just find and were amazed they could eat and not gain the weight back. I've also read a few from those who moved too quickly adding unhealthy foods who had a hard time stabilizing. I plan to learn from those lessons.

I'm off to get ready for the day. It's been a slow start. :)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Through 40 days and now on my last 20 - LOST 20 pounds!

I am at 148.8!!!

Learned the hard way not to eat too much spinach at once. Remember how I said I was sick? It was the spinach.

I am excited. 20 pounds. I will stop on the 31st so I can have champagne on election night (GOD I hope to be celebrating instead of crying like I did the last 2 presidential elections) and then I think I'll have another week left for this round. I will begin again December 28th, doing a 3 day load and begin phase 2, round 2 on Jan 1. I should reach my goal between February and March (I reckon closer to Feb but don't want to jinx it). I will give myself one hell of a Valentine's Day by treating myself to a spa day. :)

Friday, October 10, 2008

Been terribly ill, but there's an upside...

I was very sick yesterday. The good news is I lost 2 pounds overnight and I am officially no longer obese!!! I am also less than a pound away from being in the 140s!!!! I've lost 18.5 pounds in less than 40 days AND 2 weeks of that were a wash (1 week gaining, the next losing what I gained). WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

.2 pounds away from overweight

and I can say goodbye to obese.

I've been 152.6, 152.8, and now 152.2


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

up .2 and SICK

My stomach hates me. I expect a loss tomorrow because of it!

Trying to figure out why I've stopped losing and in some cases gaining. I think my body doesn't trust me anymore.

I'm not sure how to earn back that trust. I am trying to assure it I am in this for the long haul. If I don't make it to my goal this round (which I won't), I will start again after the holidays. If I don't make it to my goal on my second round, I'll do a third. I am determined to release this weight. It's been long enough. I've learned more than I thought possible but it's time now.

Body, I know I've been a real bitch to you mentally, emotionally, and physically and you probably don't have a whole lot of reason to trust me, but I'm telling you, I've had enough and I know you have too. Trust me, and I'll trust you to release the weight which no longer serves either one of us. It's time. We deserve better. I love you, even if in past I've not always expressed that. Release with me.

Friday, October 3, 2008

up .6 pounds

for a total GAIN of 2.6 pounds this week.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Was down to 152.4 2 days ago

Up to 154.4 today.

Deeeeeeep breath.

I can do this.