Regroup.

First and foremost, thank you all SO much for your support right now. Obviously, this is a very difficult time for me with this round.

That said, I have had to shift my perspective.

As I said before, part of this is a detox round. In that capacity, I'm golden. I need to view this round as that and that alone. What I release during the next 2 weeks will be icing on the cake, but I'm letting go of any expectations as far as weight released. Here's hoping I don't gain anymore! Regardless, I will concentrate on this as a cleanse (and a much needed one).

My tummy is STILL distended, so I have to say I really cannot expect a major loss. If it happens, it will be a glorious surprise, but I won't count on it.

In frustration, I had 2 lemons today and an extra grissini. I wasn't hungry, but as I said, frustrated. I'm not thrilled I did that out of dealing with a negative emotion, but at least my cheat was with P2 food, and I know I can go up to 1000 calories with that menu for reshaping. Not a big deal. Calories only went to 540 with the extras. Back to 500 tomorrow, and no extras.

Again, thanks all of you. 2 more weeks. It's really nothing. Who knows what will happen, but for certain my body will have had a nice cleanse.

XOXOXOXO

R5 Day 11 119.8 ( +.5, +3.1 LDW)

I tend to name my rounds. I've had one I called the roller coaster round that was so frustrating. What I wouldn't do to have that round back. This is my What The Fuck round.

Pre-load weight: 119.9
Net loss after 10 days of VLCD: .1

How is that even physically possible?

14 more days.

R5 Day 10 119.3 ( -0, +2.6 LDW)

Believe it or not, I consider this a win. I didn't gain after my apple day, and a familiar pattern for me is a substantial loss and then nothing and then another loss. I fully expect a loss tomorrow.  If not, then I may have reason to be a little concerned but really, what's my choice here? I can't stop now. I need to simply follow the protocol and end up where I end up. I still hold out hope that I'll end up where I want to end up. If nothing else, surely I'll at least get back to my LDW in the next 15 days. I hope for closer to 7-8 more pounds released in this time. We shall see! In any case, as I said, I was really, really happy to see that I'd not gained and that the apple day did, in fact, kick things back into gear.

More than anything at this point, I want to fit in my jeans again. I have probably half a dozen sizes 2-4 and can only fit in a couple pair now. Seems to me that my weight strategically hit my hips and thighs. If I can get back into those, I'll be happy.

 Sunday is my and my husband's 11th wedding anniversary. I had a particular print I wanted to buy him that I can no longer find.

I've just googled De Boom and can't find it! Hmmm...

Okay, more coffee. It's a short day for the kids and then they're off until Monday. We'll work on their rooms and making sure they have what they need. That and I got a more than full price offer on my listing! YES! I'll put that together too. It will close before we leave. Thank goodness!

Love you all. I really appreciate you!

R5 Day 8 120.6 ( -.1, +3.9 LDW)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Apple day.

I've been at VLCD for 7 days now. 5 of the 7 days I've gained or stalled. This is no way to start a round, my dears. Talk about zapping all motivation.

The good news is that I am partially treating this as a detox/pattern interrupt and in that respect, this has thus far been successful.

If you're not aware of the Daily Om, you may want to be. For instance, today's Daily Om is titled: Setting a Limit to Sit with Emotions How Long

I recently saw one that spoke to my condition about change, and it took me back to when I'd met my husband for the first time, and when I knew I wanted him long term in my life.

The entry is called: Ready for Change Declaring Our Intentions

If you want to produce change in your life, take the time to declare it to the universe in whatever way feels right.

You can read the entire article here

One of the things the article suggested is writing our very clear wishes and intentions down and putting them under our pillows. As I said, this took me back. When I met my husband, I did a collage, very much like the one I have as a background here on my blog, of him in the center, surrounded by symbols of commitment (wedding rings, etc., etc) and I put that precisely under my bed where I slept. Remembering this, I took the current collage I have and did the same. I do have some things I need to write and add to it. In any case, it was a welcome reminder of how well I've manifested my life and continue to do so, though I need to be more precise in my focus as to what I want.

Today the cat/house sitter comes to interview us so I need to work on the downstairs, particularly the cat room in anticipation. That and exercise! I have several episodes of a Dutch reality show to catch up on and my lap top to stream it so I'll just take my computer from room to room as I attack.

Thanks for letting me vent. I hope the protocol  is treating you more kindly than it's treating me!

XOXOXO

R5 Day 7 120.7 (+.1, +4 LDW)

Day 4 of either a gain or minuscule change. I have enough apples to do an apple day. I think I may hold off on that for 1 more day. If I don't see a significant drop tomorrow, for my own sanity (which is beginning to shake), I'll do an apple day.

My tummy is still distended. Is it possible this is the first round I've started while during my cycle? This is the only explanation I can come up with for the distended tummy. The weight I could very well see given how close to my goal I am, but the distended tummy is something else for certain.

I had my grissini yesterday for the first time. They didn't have plain, so I opted for the garlic flavor and I must say it was a treat. I took mustard, mixed a little tobasco and a drop of plain stevia and made sweet hot mustard dip for it. Yummmmm.

Le sigh. I know I should know better (and I do) but I can't hide my disappointment. I just want to go back to bed. Today is cleaning day though and I vowed to exercise every day. Maybe I'll just go back to bed for a little while.

Off to check on you guys (though most of you seem too busy with the weekends to update).

XOXOX

R5 Day 6 120.6 ( -.2, +3.9 LDW)

Gads, this is frustrating so early on! This is almost an official stall and I'm only in week 1! 2 days of losses and 2 days of nothing and 1 day of gain. Bleah!

I did exercise for the first time in aaaaaages, and I am up to 3 zits and continued bloat. I can't worry about this. I'm going to continue to exercise as all my numbers are normal except for body fat/muscle percentage. That's where I need to focus, so I will continue VLCD with HCG and although I really want to shed some weight, I want to concentrate more on toning my bod. Hey, I have just under 6 weeks to do it and I know between the HCG/VLCD and the pilates/yoga, I will see amazing results.

I didn't do measurements this round, but I have them from the last time. This time I'm going to focus more on what my new fancy pants scale has to say about my numbers. I'll measure at the end and see how it differs from last time. Speaking of fancy pants, that one I will weigh in on weekly rather than daily. I imagine those numbers will be more dramatic that way. Our clients only come in once a week to weigh in on it so I'll leave the daily weigh ins to my bathroom scale which we know is in sync with fancy pants weight wise.

Gads, I've babbled. Here's some entertainment for you - this is AMAZING!





Love all y'all!

EDITED TO ADD

I was unable to do pilates 2 days in a row - my muscles need a break! I did manage yoga though. I'll do pilates every other day until my muscles are stronger. :)

R5 Day 5 120.8 ( +.8, +4.1 LDW)

Up almost a pound. I feel totally bloated and have a zit on my chin and I'm craving salt, so I'm fairly confident in saying this has to be hormonal. I'm surprisingly calm!

So this morning I compared my weight on my bathroom scale (120.8) with my new fancy pants scale (120.8)! I was so happy to see they were both right on. I got the rest of my stats as well.  I was none too pleased with my body age, however my PA calls that part of this scale "hokey", though it should go down as I continue on the protocol. Worse than that was my body fat % which is out of the normal range. Here are the stats:

Weight

BMI (normal is 18.5-24.9 - I'd like this number to be closer to 20-22)

Normal for my age is 21%-33%! EEK!

Skeletal muscle is in proportion to the body fat %

Resting metabolism

Real age is 35

Visceral fat (the fat you can't pinch) - Normal is 1-9 - Woot!

Here's a link to buy the scale

Obviously I have some work to do. Yes my BMI is normal, but I am high on the body fat %. I'm sure this is due to a lack of exercise for the last 2 years! Time to start the pilates now that I have a clean bill of health with the foot. In fact, part of me gets the idea that pilates may help with the circulation and perhaps help my foot.

So all in all I am really glad I got this scale. It forces me to look at an overall health picture rather than just my weight on the scale. That said, I'm starting (slowly) pilates today! I may follow that with a very calming yoga. By the time we leave on our trip, I should be tone and calm! :) OH, and I can take my pilates with me and play it on my laptop while away! Woohoo!

Speaking of the trip, I arranged a house sitter which has me feeling so much more calm about the trip. My fur babies will be well taken care of, as will my plants, and knowing that my home is being watched gives me so much more peace of mind. I always worry when we're away. Not this time. :)

OK, my lovies! Drinking more coffee, and then off to pilates and yoga - the rest of the day shall be faaaaaabulous! :) 

Love y'all and I'm off to check on ya!