Real quick like!

R4, Load day 1 - Start weight 126.6

Dosed at 8:30, am dying my hair now since I won't be able to on the protocol, and am getting ready to do this:




I saw a facebook ad for it and clicked. I've done this years ago after I had my daughter. Anyway, there was a coupon on their website that the first session is FREE. What the hell, I thought! So, I go in at 10:30. I need to be prepared to drink a LOT of water. I hope that doesn't impede my loading, as I know it will reduce my appetite.

So far I've had coffee with half n half, a piece of boterkoek, a handful of peanut butter M&Ms and a caramel. I am not hungry. GADS, this happens every round!!

I need to clean the house with a vengeance before I pick up my husband from the airport (he's been in Portland since Wednesday) and then we have to get prepared for our party. BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!

I don't know why I always get nervous before a round, but I do. I am so ready to release!!!

I'll check up on all y'all now. :)

EDITED TO ADD


After watching this, a load day is NOT a good day to try to release fat! DUH! So I'm on hold trying to reschedule for Monday!

WOOT Monday it is! Should be an interesting experiment coupled with the VLCD!

'Twas the night before loading...

Every round feels like Christmas. You know great things are coming your way - you just don't know how and what that great thing looks like!

I have ice cream, boterkoek (Dutch butter breakfast pie), creme brulee, fondue, cheesecake, cheese, steak, cashews, peanut butter m&ms, dark chocolate reese's peanut butter cups, and plan on going out for pizza, Mexican, and maybe Chinese. OH and a Reuben. All, of course, over 2 days.

I will shop Saturday for my VLCD days at Costco.

Today I did a steak day, but had to modify it as I have a home under contract so I HAD to open the champagne!! I promise that if I go under contract while doing the VLCD I'll buy myself a bottle to save for later. :)

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this (right??) ...

Catching way up

I am shocked at how long it's been between posts. I've just spent the last hour catching up with you. I've missed all y'all!

As I posted in my last post, my business just blew up (in a good way) which has taken almost all my attention. My house is a WRECK. I need to attack it, as I am hosting a wine meetup on Friday (our annual Queen's Day party). We did hire a contractor to totally remodel our laundry/bathroom that desperately needed it. I was embarrassed to have anyone have to use it! I'm so glad to have the wallpaper down, the linoleum out, the broken vanity gone. Fresh paint, new vanity, and TILE! It's so much nicer.

My weight - I avoided the scale for a week and a half, but tracked all my calories with my fitness program. I weighed in yesterday and weighed less than what my program projected which was a nice surprise. My weight seems to hover around 126-127. I'm less than happy about that, yet as I've said, I really need to focus on how my clothes fit and how I feel. I start my loading for R4 on Friday (perfect with the party). I need to make a list of supplies needed for next round, including the loading. Clean the house, shop, pick up wine meet up glasses, write a contract tomorrow on a home in Daybreak, buy a rug, clean, clean, clean, have I mentioned CLEAN?

It's been an interesting back and forth with my husband about the possibility of moving. I can't remember what I wrote here or not, but he made it clear he wanted to avoid Portland. Later I suggested Tacoma. I've lived in Washington State before, though not in Tacoma. I know an agent up there I could work for and I had a Washington real estate license at one point. He seemed shocked that I suggested Tacoma.I think he believed that it was all about me getting closer to my family, and not necessarily about changing cultures. He seemed to genuinely consider it, but after some research, he said he'd rather be in Portland than Tacoma. I told him I would too. He said perhaps he'd consider in in a few years. That's a huge difference from "We're never going to move.". In any case, just talking about it openly and without defenses going up has been such a relief, I can't even tell you.

We're both adjusting. As I've said in past, for many years I'd lost my voice and was just sleep walking through life, unbeknown to either one of us. Finding my voice again and learning how to show up and tell the truth fearlessly has us both learning how to communicate with one another. It's so fortunate that we both love each other so deeply.

Wow, can I shut up already? :)

Edited to add...

My HCG just arrived! It's the Corion brand manufactured in Switzerland. I compared expiration dates and noticed it expires in 2012 versus the HuCog which expires in 2014, so I'm going to try the new HCG! While comparing expiration dates, I noticed is was labeled "highly purified". I know this sounds silly, but this actually got me pumped to start again! It may be a Dumbo's feather affect. :) Yay!

Really quick!

My business is suddenly booming. I am THRILLED. It has kept me away from here though.

NEW RULE (insert Bill Maher voice here):

Next round is about clothing size, not about pounds.

I will weigh every day (something I've not done in a week), but this round is about getting back into my 4s comfy. I can zip them up, but they are a no go as far as wearing out. My size 6s however fit PERFECTLY. Who the hell am I to complain about THAT??? I was a size 16 2 years ago! Hello??

I showed homes this morning and made it to my county Dem convention just in time to vote (I'm a delegate). I picked up a buyer while I was there. :)

By 4, I was craving margaritas. I never crave margaritas. It was 70 degrees and gorgeous and you know what? I had a margarita on my deck. Bliss. I have to learn to relax into my life. Relax? What's that? Not sure, but I'm determined to find out.

I have missed all of you like you wouldn't believe.

XOXOXOOX

it's late, I'm tired, but lord, I need to check in

I'm shocked I've let things go so long between posts. I'm busy, which is good. I'm also disconnected which isn't good.

I've not weighed in a week, mostly because of salt. I crave it.Also because the new round is practically here. I fully expect to see the 130s and that breaks my heart.

I have some moving news but I'm tired so I'll save it for tomorrow. In the meantime... in Utah? Know anyone buying??

Good morning, peepadapeeps!

My weight is still hovering at the high end of normal for my height. Meh. I'm okay. The only thing I worry about a bit is how it took about 3 weeks for me to lose "new" weight after the load weight I lost, but again each round is different and to anticipate problems ahead of time is absurd.

The weather is gorgeous and we've been taking nice long walks each evening. It feels wonderful. I did have an interesting encounter last evening with some neighbors who were taking their walk at the same time. They complimented us on our German Shepherd and then said that we must be new to the neighborhood. I explained we'd been here for 7.5 years. She looked shocked, and I could read her mind. She hadn't seen me at her church. She followed it up by asking what street we live on (to determine which "ward" we lived in). Don't get me wrong, they were delightful people but it always feels funny to me when people assume I'm LDS.

My husband said after we'd parted ways with them, "Americans and their churches.". I said that wasn't entirely true - that this happens when you live in an area where the majority belong to one particular faith, such as Utah and the Baptists in the South, but that in most places no one would presume to know what your faith is, nor would they assume you were new to the neighborhood had they not seen you at church. Sometimes I think that because he's only lived in Utah since moving to the States, he assumes it's like this everywhere. He said it was quite presumptuous of them to assume we were, and I pointed out they can afford to be presumptuous here. I know they meant well, but it's things like this that remind me once again that I'll never truly be able to integrate here. We'll always be on the outside looking in, which isn't a huge deal for my husband and I, but it is for our kids.

Normally Sundays are our cleaning days but it just didn't happen, so today I will blast the soundtrack to "Woman on Top" and CLEAN. Just me. Quite frankly, sometimes having no help is the best help!

Enjoy your Monday!

Ultra clean works

Down 2 pounds after eating P3 style and drinking tons of tea and water. Still high, but I was relieved to see a loss rather than stay the same or a gain. I was a little concerned I'd become un-hinged!

I'll keep this short. I am very busy with my work. Hopefully it will all pay off! I am listing a home tomorrow and showing homes after that.

Off to brew more tea...

Yikes. Am I broken?

I am so much higher than I am comfortable admitting. I'm still in the 120s... barely. I feel bloated, uncomfortable, and worried. My jeans are so tight.

I have 15 days before my next round, one which I'd so hoped would be a reshaping round, not a round that I actually needed. I also have 15 days before our annual Queen's Day party, one of my load days, that I'd hoped to be looking sexy and svelte while celebrating.

I'd been doing okay so long as I ate super clean P3 style, but I thought this week it seemed insane to be avoiding meals with my family and eating so much chicken, since a round is right around the corner, and I'll be SO limited then. Am I broken??

I did determine the pilates may have been too intense for a tummy that had been operated on, especially since it wasn't complication free. I will stick with yoga and walking a tad longer before I add the pilates back in.

Thank goodness for HCG. At least I have that. I want this next round to be flawless.

Off to check in on you all...

Depressed

I've been emotionally drained lately. I'm not entirely sure why. I'm also feeling extra fluffy. I didn't even bother weighing today. This next round can't come soon enough.

I'll post a proper update when I have more energy. I'm alive!

Interesting day

Hello my sweets! First, let me introduce you to a new blog, http://hcgandmyjourney.blogspot.com/ - this is a friend of mine who has begun her journey! Welcome to the blogosphere! Everyone wave hello! :)

Oh where to start. I'm fairly certain I'm having that TOM. I have a huge "underground" zit on my chin that huuuuuurts, I feel bloated, and my emotions oscillate between melancholy and irritation. At least the weather is cooperating and we actually have all the windows open. It's nice to have a fresh breeze inside the house.

I'm on a new computer (my husband just bought himself a new one so I got his old one which is, well, like a new one, especially with all the crap I had on my old one). I'm transferring files and cleaning things up. It's Spring, and it's time for a Spring Cleaning, not only with the house, but my computer, as well as me - very appropriate time for me to start a round.

Speaking of cleaning, I am determined to pick up that old goal of going room by room tossing or donating anything that hasn't been used in 6 months (unless it's seasonal). 1 room a day. That's my goal. If I can do more, great, but 1 room a day at least.

Speaking of the new round (well, we were a little bit ago), I reread over my last round. Eek. I forgot how hard that round was. I was determined to never do a round again. Here I am, back to Round 2 weight (I only released 6 pounds that round so not a huge biggie - it was AFTER that round I lost more weight, but it's back). Here I am, off to do another round. I called last round my see-saw round. I hope it won't be so frustrating again, but I need to be mentally prepared that I may not lose weight this round and if I do, it may not be much. I need to concentrate on the inches more than the pounds, and I need to be prepared that anything lost could be minuscule. I will also be SO careful to stay within the 2 pound mark of my LDW rather than allowing myself to continue to drop. I'm doing this right.

OK, that's enough from me.

XOXO

EDITED TO ADD:

I just reread the blog. Came to a comforting realization. I've been  in my healthy BMI range for over a year!

Just ordered my oil free products!

I can't believe how excited I am about my next round! My surgery totally changed my shape so this will be very interesting new territory for me, and that is very exciting for me! Even with the little extra fluffage I've acquired, I love the way my body is shaped. I figure between establishing a normal yoga/pilates routine and the next round, I'll basically look like a porn star when I'm done. ;P Anyway, here is a GREAT place to order said oil free products.

Had another great session with yoga and pilates. I'm telling you guys - pilates has to be the most intense toning routine I've ever done. I am so anxious to compare my looks in the next 3 weeks. Speaking of, I need to do new measurements. I'll do that tomorrow, again before I load, and again after the next round.

Love you all!

OH I don't think I mentioned this before, but I'd been concerned I had no sensation in my left nipple after the surgery. I was so grateful I had it in my right, I was prepared to not have it come back in the other but... IT'S BACK! *happy dance*

Good morning!

The sun is shining and the weather is warming up. Finally!

I did really well exercise wise yesterday. Yoga makes me feel so calm and energized and pilates kicks my ass (and thighs, and tummy, and arms...)! Yesterday evening we walked around the neighborhood with our dog. It felt so good to get out and get some fresh air.

I'm very much looking forward to my next round. I need the pattern interrupt. It will be so great to be done before the kids are out of school.

Hope you're all well. I'm fairly newsless. :)

Alright, motivation... where ARE you?

Maybe it's because I haven't had my morning chat with my mom yet but I'm having a hell of a time getting motivated to do my yoga and pilates this morning. Gotta do this! Afterwards, I need to run to the store and pick up some leeks and onions for the slow cooker cream of asparagus soup I'm making. I thought I had an onion but it was in poor, poor shape when I pulled it from the fridge. I prefer leeks anyway. It is so under appreciated in this country!

Mom called while I was typing this so I've had my chat. Check! Okay, time to go work out, off to the store, and then my desk is calling me. I cannot see the top of it and that has to go. Once it's cleaned and the filing is dome, I'm going to work on my 2010 taxes, and then I need to sort my computer files as my husband bought himself a new one, which means we're playing musical computers soon. Hooray!

The sun is shining - I'm going to be sure to soak it in. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Home

Kids are back in school and I'm back in my routine

I didn't eat completely clean the last 2 days, but I'm back today. In looking at my calendar, I have about 3 weeks before I start loading for R4. Full moon is the 28th. I love that I'll be starting a round during the full moon. I will be shrinking right along with it.

I've discovered I just don't get my exercise in when my family is around. I suppose taking the weekends off isn't the end of the world so long as I work out when they are at work/school. Today I only managed 20 minutes as I had to show homes and was in a bit of a rush, however I did at least do something.


We still haven't talked any more about a move, though I think he understands now that this isn't for purely selfish reasons, but that I want this for our family. I also made it clear I'm not opposed to staying in one place for the rest of my life, so long as where that is is in alignment with our values. Anyway, at least it's out there now. He's actually going to Portland for a meeting at the end of this month.

Love to y'all!

Much better

I managed to write him again, this time from a balanced and centered place. I spent a great deal of time going over what he'd said and his objections and truly saw his point of view, and I made sure to express that to him, as well as my regret for how I handled some things. We haven't talked, but we connected physically, so I know he heard me, and I believe he feels he was heard as well.

I don't know what will happen, but I know there is a change in our future. I hope this is a turning point in our relationship as well, especially for me to drop my fear and express myself to him openly and honestly, and to be open to hearing him as well. We've been together so long it's easy to fall into patterns that are comfortable, but not necessarily healthy.

The weight I dropped is mostly back, but I know it was all the salt from yesterday. By the way, that endive recipe was fantastic, but I'd cut the garlic by AT LEAST half next time! I WREAK of garlic today! Stand back!

Thanks again for all your loving support.

Happy Easter!

We've baked orange rolls for breakfast, have a veggie platter and deviled eggs for lunch, and are baking these for dinner:

http://nonchefnick.blogspot.com/2009/12/baked-belgian-endive-highlights-french.html

along with cheese fondu with bread and apples. Cheesecake for dessert. Of course, mimosas and champagne.

Trying to keep things light today and special for the kids. So far, so good.

Have a wonderful Easter, my peeps! Get it? Easter? Peeps? I crack me up.

Sorry.

I wiped out the last few posts. I needed to vent, but I felt weird about it later. You all know how scared I've been about speaking my heart. We are communicating a bit, though it's still very tense, and just as I feared, my lack of clear and open communication in the past has been harmful. I HATE being so afraid to talk about what I feel, but I know too that just figuring out what that is is a real challenge.

I'm going to try to eat something, though my stomach is in knots and has been since yesterday evening. I'm down almost a pound, +4.5 above LDW.

Thank you guys!

You truly are the best!! Thanks for all the encouragement and kind words. :)

DOWN 1.3 pounds today!! I need to release 3.4 to get to that top acceptable weight  and another 5.4 to get to LDW. It was such a treat to see that loss.

I am about to do my yoga/pilates work out. I have a ton of property management stuff to do today, and I need to pick up my check (yippeee!). Once I'm done, I think I'll snuggle with my kids and watch movies. I can't wait to see Fantastic Mr. Fox!

Going down.

Not by much... just .3 but a loss is a loss. Certainly not what I normally get from steak days so I think unless I am back "within range", my best bet is just to eat clean.

Part of why I've not been doing so well with the workouts is that I've not been sure what to do. So many options that I just get overwhelmed, so today I decided I will do at the very least 20 minutes of yoga and 20 minutes of pilates. If I manage more, great, but I must do AT LEAST the yoga and pilates. 40 minutes a day is totally doable and I generally will go longer once I start, since it feels so good. So my new 30 day challenge starts today. I managed the minimum, but today was busy getting ready for the closing which took much of my attention.

Speaking of... WE CLOSED!! My clients will have their keys tomorrow! WOOT! I am so happy for them. They are such nice people. My family is invited to visit in 2 weeks along with their mortgage broker and her family, so the kids can all have a play date and visit with their horse. It should be great!

I am feeling so much better since making my decision yesterday. I know I have a future in helping people release weight for good via the protocol that could end up as my main career, but right now is not the time for that. I am learning to trust my gut and know that everything happens just as it should.

I am beginning to feel that zen I've been looking for. Ironically, it's been since I realized that seeking balance was counter intuitive. That once I can let go seeking balance, I will find it. That the seeking is part of an old pattern of non-self acceptance. I am extreme. I am intense. I am driven. That's okay. Normal doesn't have to be my goal. I am extraordinary, and as soon as I can accept that completely, I will find that balance.

Love you guys. :)