Emotional

I'm not sure what has sparked the emotional outpouring I'm experiencing this morning but I find myself just crying. I'm sure releasing the fat is also releasing trauma stored there.

I am having a hell of a time expressing what I want to say here. The last couple years with this weight have been the toughest. Daily I would drink so I could sleep, and also found myself so comfortable in the numbness that I could relax about my body when I did so. Not great for connecting physically with my husband and we've been drifting further and further away from each other. We love each other deeply, but the wall between us was undeniable. We talked about it even before I started this protocol and have worked on reconnecting ever since. It has been wonderful, but even more so since I started this protocol.

I don't know. I feel like all of it was necessary. All of it. The weight, the pain, all of it. It almost feels like I went to University to learn all I could from this, including the hiding. I feel like I've learned what I needed to and now it's my graduation. Time to release the weight and keep the lessons, and move on - time for that weight to teach someone else who needs it.

I am 1 pound away from being overweight and not obese. I lost another .8 pounds, despite the splitting of snacks into thirds and the extra lemon.

I walked the kids to school (half hour each way) with our dog. We'll be doing that until it's too cold to do so. It felt great.

I'm so sorry I've been checked out of our life for so long. I love and appreciate you more than I can express. My struggles haven't had anything to do with you. You're a wonderful husband and friend, and I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you in my corner. You're unconditional love and support means everything to me. I'm so sorry I've not been capable of giving back as much as I should. Thanks so much for your patience. I'm getting there. :)

Till next time