120.3 - 3.6 above LDW

Thank you ALL for the wonderful comments! I'm feeling the love! *HUGS*

LD - I start loading Sat-Sun and VLCD Monday until the 28th of Oct. which has me in P4 by Nov. 21st. What do you say? Wanna join me?

I love this...

100 pounds lifted off my shoulders!!!!!!

Last night I spoke with my husband. We talked about local issues that were driving us both nuts. I pleaded with him and said, "Please, please tell me we can leave here!" and he said we could.

I almost couldn't believe it. I actually burst into tears this morning when it hit me that he'd agreed we'd leave.

My chop wood carry water project has just been put on fast speed. Like I said before, if he's given an offer elsewhere today, we're not ready so it's my job now to make sure we're ready when that time comes. Oh my GOD, though - there is light at the end of the tunnel!

My real estate licence is good through next Summer so it's my hope that between now and then I can get the house in order and sell as many homes as possible.

Speaking of, looks like I'll have an offer on one of my listings and I'll have a new one next week. A really nice one!

On another subject, I changed my name with Social Security right after I got married , but we were living in the Netherlands where it is not easy to change your last name so I kept my maiden name. I continued with my maiden name when we came to the states. I saw my driver's license will expire in January so I went to find my SS card and it was no where to be found. I went to order a replacement, with my maiden name, and was told I first had to prove I was the person with my maiden name before they could issue a new card. Otherwise, I could go to the courthouse and for $360 have my name legally changed before they'd issue a new card. I scoured my home for other docs and was lucky enough that the other women I met with there later accepted my wedding license as enough and she changed my name officially back to my maiden name on my SS card. Lots of miracles today.

I am so very grateful.

Just 2 more days until I load...


XOXOXO

120.9 (4.2 over LDW)

I did a steak day yesterday and got an almost 2 pound drop. I allowed myself a carb heavy day despite my weight on Sunday which strapped me with 2 additional pounds. I'm astonished as to how carb sensitive I am.

I've been without my thyroid meds since Friday. I'm picking them up today. I'll be low carbing until Friday, when a dear friend is throwing a housewarming party at the home that I negotiated a lease option for her and her family. Saturday is my first load day as well as a wine tasting, and Sunday is my daughter's birthday and my second load day. I'm hoping to get down to 118-119 pre-load in the next few days. We'll see if I can pull that off. I'm going to be very careful on Saturday (excluding the wine) to stick to low carb, high fat load foods. I won't be as careful Sunday, though sugar was never my deal so I'm not a huge birthday cake person. We'll probably do our traditional cheese fondue dinner which works out well for me!

I'm going to take Lavenderdiva's advice this round and include the grissini. I excluded them in past rounds as Dr. S. said you could exclude anything except the protein. I am going to see if including the grissini this round helps me avoid becoming carb resistant. As I've said before however, if so then I do a cleansing round twice a year. Not a big deal.

The PA at the clinic I work at called me last night. She's back in town earlier than expected so I have the rest of the week off. I have no idea if she'll continue to hire me or not. We'll see! It was a fantastic experience either way, and she told me I got rave reviews. That made me smile.

Okay, peepalapeeps. Time for more coffee and something to eat!

122.7 (+6 LDW)

No, I'm not loading.

I am truly undone!

I can handle doing this twice a year.

119.3 (2.6 over LDW)

Thanks for all the support, especially from my last post.

I needed to get that out there. I'm feeling so much better now since I did.

@LD, I had the lump checked by my surgeon when I discovered it in July. He feels it's nothing and suspects it's breast tissue that was loose after my surgery, but wants me back in sometime this fall so he can check again, unless I feel it change and then he wants me in sooner. As far as I can tell, it's remained the same shape and size which is awfully good news.

MRI - Nothing. No fracture, no infection, no tumor. He thinks it will resolve itself on it's own, but just to be on the safe side, he wants me to have a neuro consult. God, I'm hemorrhaging money. We have a $3k deductible.

So. Here's the deal. If my husband was offered a job out of state today, we're not ready to go. My kids' rooms need wallpaper stripped, walls painted, and all the original carpet in this house needs to be replaced, all the walls pretty much need painting, and the fence needs to be replaced. It's chop wood, carry water time. I need to focus on getting this house in shape. Not only will that keep me busy and focused, it will carry me to the next phase where we will be ready if such an opportunity presents itself. This has me feeling so much more "in control" however illusionary that may be. Who cares. I feel better.

I need to vent here more often. It's why I started this blog to begin with. To deal with the emotions in a constructive way rather than imploding, sometimes without my knowledge.

Thanks again all y'all. Off to check on you!

120.7 (+ 4 over LDW)

I'm struggling right now emotionally, and I believe that has a lot to do with my weight at the moment.

I am due to start my cycle tomorrow according to that blood work I had done which also makes a difference, especially since I've been craving chocolate and salt, both of which I fell into last night. I am not happy about it but I also know there is no point in beating myself up over it as well. It is what it is and I did what I did. What sucks though is I have a wedding on Friday. Think I can drop a couple pounds between then and now? Last steak day only yielded a .2 drop. I'm doing high protein, low carb today. May do a steak day tomorrow. I'm waiting to experiment with an apple cheese day when I am in range just to see how my body reacts since carbs are difficult with me. This is the weight I'd hoped to be post load.

I'm also scared. I am scared of what they will or will not find today during the MRI on my foot. I am also scared of the lump I found in my breast. I'm also scared to fly and I will be making a big flight in a couple months.

I'm also very, very angry right now. The culture here is becoming more and more intolerable to me. I am furious that the school district sent home "opt out" waivers so parents could keep their children from watching the President give a message about how important school is. I'm furious that our very corrupt Governor will win re-election against a man who is so incredibly qualified for the job, but because he has a D marked down for his political affiliation and the fact that he's Catholic and not Mormon, he will lose. I am furious that I am surrounded by women who are so depressed they have to be medicated - 2/3rds of our State is, and that's just those who have prescriptions.

I am furious that my husband doesn't get why I am so desperate to move. I'd be pissed if it were just he and I, but I am furious because it isn't just the two of us. We are raising two children here who will never totally fit in, and my poor daughter is considered less than just because she is female. I'm pissed. I'm really angry and I realize I've not let myself feel this rage because it is so intolerable. The dam done broke though. I can't not feel this anymore.

I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm a hostage. I've lost almost all hope.

It feels good to let this out. I probably shouldn't have while waiting between HCG consults as I have tears in my eyes. Fortunately my next client won't arrive for another 20 minutes or so, so I have time to regroup.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I love all y'all.

Can you spot the gay soldier?

119.1 (+ 2.4 LDW)

Hey hey,

I'm on day 2 of a migraine, though I expect it totally gone tomorrow. Normally these last 3 days so I'm thrilled that the last few have been shorter. Yay!

I'm still out of range, though barely. I have decided to delay my next round just a titch. My daughter's b-day is the 3rd, so I'm thinking I'll start around then. There is a wine meetup on the 2nd I am really looking forward to as well. My husband and I can always celebrate out anniversary a week later.

I'm getting really excited about this round. The idea of doing a 3 week cleanse twice a year seems reasonable to me. If this means a pattern interrupt, detox, and reshaping twice a year with a short round, SIGN ME UP. .

I will start exercising again once I know if the MRI is clean. I can't stand that it's been YEARS since I worked out. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I need it for my mental health. Yoga, Pilates, and a little Wii Fit would be heaven.

Love all y'all and miss you too. I'm sure once I'm on another round, I'll check in a lot more often on ya! :)

119.6 (2.8+ LDW)

Sorry it's been so long. I am overwhelmed with work and a house that is a disaster. I tend to stop in my tracks when I'm overwhelmed. Fortunately, my husband's best friend will be staying the night tomorrow so I am forced to clean the basement where our guest room and bath are. I'll worry about the rest after that.

Not much to report. I had my doctor's appointment yesterday. My x-ray is clean. We've got an MRI scheduled for Wednesday to rule out an infection, tumor, or hairline fracture that isn't showing on the x-ray. He did tell me if that is clean, that I should just try and relax about it. He's treated a dozen or so women in their 30s that have had this mystery swelling and that it simply cleared up after a couple years. I don't know what to think.

The job is great! My only frustration is that they scheduled HCG consultations while the PA is out of town, and I can't prescribe HCG to them. Most of them are pumped up and ready to go, so it's frustrating. Other than that, I really enjoy working with the clients and the staff very much.

Speaking of work, I need to go get ready for it. Then I need to attack the basement! I am determined to make it sparkly!

I've been reading your blogs. I'm sorry I've not been commenting. Overwhelmed!!! Love to you!

119.1 (+ 2.3 LDW)

Everything we do is because we have created or accepted meaning for what we do.

118 (+ 1.3 LDW)

Heeeeey peep-a-la-peeps!

I just looked at the calendar and my 1st day of P3 is on my 11th wedding anniversary! Yay! I can still go out and have a nice meal with my incredible husband!

I'm excited about this round in that it's the first short round I've ever done. 3 weeks seems like NOTHING.

This week will be a little nutty. I work from 10-12 tomorrow, 5-8 Tuesday, Wednesday at 11:30 I go to the doctor for my foot (which looks and feels much better) and then pick up my kids, drop them with a friend and work from 4-6, Thursday 11-2 and Friday 10-12. 3 different locations. Nut-TY. :) One evening I will be doing a listing presentation for a DREAAMMMMY home. I am so unbelievably excited about this house!

One of my best friends (she's like a sister) is in town from Switzerland (she lives there with her Dutch husband, my husband's best friend). We're doing lunch Monday after work. I cannot wait to see her! We'll make plans later for all four of us to get together. It will be fun to see them both. I'm sure my husband will love being able to gab in his native tongue as well.

Okay, I've babbled enough. Off to check on y'all!

PS - Thanks for the advise!

119.1 (+ 2.4 LDW)

I'm very far behind on my blogs. I'm really sorry. I'm trying to juggle my real estate world, family world, and HCG coaching world. I've just not had the time.

I'm doing a steak day today. I still have this hope that maybe I'm wrong about my body and the carb sensitivity. LD, I cut out melba because it caused cravings. Perhaps I will include them next round.

After reading all of your advice, I will do 2 load days, however 1 will be Atkins style and focus on nothing but fat while avoiding carbs and sodium.

Despite the weight, I am wearing more 2s than 4s. I just ordered 4s from JJill that I need to return as they are slightly loose. I find this completely amazing!

Today was my first day flying solo with my new job! I had one no show and one cancellation, so I met with just two clients. I'd met one before during training. The other just started last week and is doing great. All in all, a terrific day. I feel so confident that I will thrive in this new position. Jen, you asked where I'm working and it's Elase Medical Spa. I rotate between Orem, Draper, South Jordan, and Sugarhouse.

I was nervous about today and I think I'm crashing now so I'll close. Thanks again for being in my corner and cheering me on. This is a never ending process! XOXO

118.7 (+2 LDW) -- 6 months. Ah-ha.

I have pinpointed a pattern. 6 months after a round, I become highly carb sensitive again. This has happened after every round at the 6 month post HCG mark. I was contemplating the fact that I've been struggling lately to stay in my range and realized it's been 6 months since I ended my last round.

I hadn't planned on starting another round until after the holidays, and planned to do so once a year at that time. It's obvious to me now that I need to plan on twice a year.

I have a friend in town who lives in Switzerland (and married to my hubby's best friend). I don't want to be on the VLCDs while she's here. I plan on starting the end of September for a 23 day round. I've also decided to go for only 1 load day. I think at this weight, not wanting to lose, 1 load day is sufficient. I hope so. I'll certainly let you know. So, 1 load day, 22 days VLCD (which I will allow myself up to1000 calories after losing the load weight).

I officially start my job Friday! I'm very excited. I'll bring my laptop to work so I can blog from there ;) .

Good news? My 4s are loose despite the weight. Bad news, this means more shopping! GAH! :)

Thanks again for all your love and support.

XOXO

Edited to add - the Full Moon is the 23rd of September. I have a wedding to go to on the 24th! 24th start and LOAD DAY!

118 (+ 1.3 LDW)

This is going to be super quick. LD, typical menu depends on the scale. When I'm closer to LDW or under, my diet is a balance of lean protein, veggies, full fat dressings, half n half with my coffee, and fruit. When I'm higher, it's P3 style eating to keep it in control. I've had burgers and pizza very periodically, but I don't deny myself that if I want it. Hope that helps! Thank you for ALWAYS being in my corner. Love you!

Please, please, please, PLEASE watch the following video and pass it on and on and on and on (post this on facebook, on your own blog, send to your contact lists, etc.). I am a wreck after watching "The Cove" and need to do all I can to help.



Much love to you.

118.8 (+2.1 from LDW)

I've been on the higher side for the last week or so. According to my calendar (based of the blood tests I took which the doctor was able to tell me where I was in my cycle since I have no uterus), I start my next cycle on the 8th which has me in PMS territory. This all makes sense. I'm surprisingly relaxed about it which is unbelievably cool. It's the first time since losing the weight that I'm actually relaxed even though I'm technically out of range on the high end. I've done a couple steak days interspersed with clean p3 style eating. I know I'll drop back into range when my cycle returns. I can't tell you how freeing it feels to let go a little. I still weigh daily and I still eat based on that number, but I'm not emotionally attached. I'm not sure what's changed. Maybe it's just knowing that I am totally healthy from a weight standpoint. I'm no where near worrying about being overweight anymore.

I can't believe I've not been blogging daily. It's just gotten so busy. I am reading you all even if I'm not commenting. I'll try to do better about that. Just know I am checking in on you and am here for you!

I'm exhausted so I'll close. My son had a sleep over yesterday, only ignored the sleep part. GAH!

XOXOXOXOX

118.5 (+ 1.8 LDW)

Ugh, I hate being so close to the 2 pound limit. I did a steak day after breaching the limit but it only produced a .7 drop. I've found that the super lean organic steaks don't work as well for me as other steaks which is a bummer. I may need to go to Whole Foods and pick up steaks that are organic but not lean.

Okay, my news. My new boss apparently trusts me as I was to cover for her while she was away on a cruise - just 10 days. Well, she's decided to take 3 weeks off instead, and guess who's covering for her? :) I couldn't be happier about this.

I had my interview with the school yesterday and I've been recommended for the program that I'm interested in. I plan on starting classes in January after the holidays. I'm extremely excited about this new direction!

I'm sorry I've been absent but things have gotten nuttier! I'll try to be better. I need to catch up on all y'all!

XOXOX