I'm back!

Remember me saying my hormones were all wonky? Well, I hit menopause early. I have since also had my ovaries removed due to very large, painful, abnormal cysts.

My weight is as high as it has ever been since hitting menopause. I haven't officially weighed in since 2 months ago (prior to the holidays) but I was 172 then.

I haven't done a round in nearly 5 years. I am desperate, as nothing has touched the weight. Prior to the October weigh in, I spent 6 weeks strictly Keto and under 20 grams of carbs a day, absolutely no sugar, alcohol, or grains. It didn't make a dent.

I have enough, if this works, to get me through 2 extra long rounds and my hope is to be where I want to be by June. 

I decided to re-read the blog with fresh eyes and see if I can inspire myself.

Here goes nothing!

Post round update 2 - 122.4 - 6.2 pounds under LDW

I went to the doctor to address memory issues I've been having. As you know, I have hypothyroidism and right before I started my last round, she adjusted my medication up as my thyroid had crashed again. Well, because of the memory issues, the first thing she wanted to rule out was hormonal imbalance. I have to say, I was worried, especially since my medication had already been tweaked before the round. The numbers came back wonky. I was beyond relieved. It not only explains my memory failings, but also very possibly why this round was so hard.

Now as to why I'm losing weight post round... My stomach has been in knots ever since I stopped. I suspect I'm having similar issues that Lavender Diva has had processing fat post round. I'll keep an eye on it. I'm now just 7 pounds over my ultimate goal weight. Too weird! 

Once my inlaws leave, I'll have access to my exercise machine again. I plan on starting that routine. It's time I become the healthiest person I know.

Post round update

VLCD 41 - 130.8 - obviously a no dose day. I did a steak day with lean steak and my first day of P3 was 127.2! 

I then dropped to 126.4, then up to 126.6. Today I am 127. Totally in range. I'm wearing a size 6 (though admittedly it fit better at 126.4/126.6 than at 127 - being as short as I am, it makes all the difference).

It was, by far, the hardest round I've ever done, but even though I didn't lose the 20+ pounds I'd counted on losing, 15 is still phenomenal. I'm thrilled to be back in the 120s and only about 10-12 pounds from my ultimate goal weight. I'll do a short round somewhere down the road and will be vigilant about staying at or under my last dose weight. 

Thanks for walking with me on this one!

Xoxo

VLCD 40 - 129.6

VLCD 39 - 129.2 (no dose)

Obviously I didn't dose today either. I didn't drink enough water yesterday, as I was running around until late. That said, unless I drop 1.5 pounds or more tomorrow, I am done! I had hoped for more, but almost 15 pounds is better than a stick in the eye. :) I can manage at this weight. I want to lose another 10 from my last dose weight, but that is certainly doable, even if it takes a year. Hell, if I just drop 5 in the next year and do a short detox round, that'd do it.

XOXOXO

VLCD 38 128.6

Yes!!

Today I craved steak so I did about 450 grams of super lean steak - basically a steak day with a handful of strawberries. I am so very full. It makes me nervous how full. :) hopefully good news tomorrow. I really want to continue to see a 12 in front of my 3 digits on the scale. I'm at the place in this round that if I gain, I won't dose and count 128.6 as my last dose weight. If I lose, I keep going. If I gain and then drop below 128.6, I'll dose again and count THAT as my last dose weight unless it drops, etc., etc., but I will be done no later than Wednesday so I'm in P3 when my inlaws arrive the 16th. That's my plan!

VLCD 37 129.4 happy, oh happy day!

To be back in the 120s was such a wonderful feeling this morning. Even if I didn't lose any more, I could stabilize low enough to be back in a normal weight. Ahhhhh, this is assuming I don't gain. :) I had hoped to be about 7 pounds lighter at this point, but I'll tell you what, this beats the hell out of 142. 

5 more days to go.

VLCD 34 131.2

Post apple day. I'm so happy to see a drop. Here's hoping I continue to drop. If I can just get under 127...

VLCD 33 133.8

Yesterday showde no change. I felt well enough to add extra calories, and managed to get around 750. 

I don't think I've ever gone 11 days like this. I'm very, very discouraged. I'm tired. 

I'm grateful for the 10 I've lost from the start. Really grateful for that. I'm also so glad I'm out of the habit of eating what I had started last year. Back to what I know works best for me, which is basically a P3 diet, with P4 thrown in only on special occasions. 

Today I'll do an apple day. .

VLCD 31 133.2 day 9 of torture

Well, there's no way in hell I'll meet my original goal. Now I'll be lucky to see the 120s at all. If I can just get to below 127, I'll be in a normal range again. *crycrycry*

VLCD 30 133

I've not been feeling so hot so I've not had the extra calories. Some days I eat protocol but skip the veggies because I know I need to get at least the protein in. I rarely reach 500 calories.

I'm eating 2 bags of cooked spinach right now. Wish me luck.

VLCD 23 132.6

Yesterday I had a small tick up to 135.6. I about fell off the scale this morning with a 3 pound drop from that! 

Extra protein seems to be making a difference. I have to wonder when there's less fat to release if the body feels the need to hand onto it with less protein. I'm less than 7 pounds from being considered a normal weight. I know when I had more to lose, fewer calories worked better.

I've also been working hard on dissecting the emotional poisons that I have been dealing with, and finally feel very close, if not there, to letting it all go. I need to understand it before I can do that, including others' roles. I've made tremendous progress. I feel really good.

So, here's my average so far this round: .42 pounds a day. I normally count on about .5. It'll be interesting to see if that average improves, which, knock on wood, I think there's a real possibility it will!

Thanks for listening!

VLCD 21 135

Wow. I didn't cut out the fruit. I ate protocol but added an additional 250 grams of ultra lean steak for a total of 770 calories. 

If I want to end the round, today would be the earliest to do so, being day 21. That said, I have enough for 21 more days and will now go on unless or until my body says no more, or I reach the end of my supply. I think I may have needed more calories. This happened in a previous round.

I was so relieved to see that number on the scale! Having lost only 5 pounds in 20 days was so frustrating. 7 in 21 sounds so much better. Onward. 

VLCD 20 137

So, in 20 days I've managed 5 pounds. I should have released twice this so far. Yesterday I stuck to the normal protocol thinking maybe all I needed was the boost from the spinach. 

I'm depressed. I hate this. I think I've done too many rounds and my body is done. I hate that I lost my mind this last year as I don't know how to undo the damage. I start again today with more protein, fewer/no fruit and I'll keep going as planned.

One huge benefit is the break in pattern of eating the way I had in the last year. I needed the pattern interrupt. I have to find the positive here.

VLCD 19 136.2

It worked... Kinda. I'm still .4 higher than 2 days ago.

VLCD 18 138.2

Yesterday I weighed in at 135.8

Something is wrong.

I weigh my food, I log every gram, I drink my water.

I'm  near tears with frustration. 

Since this isn't working, I'm going to change tactics. I don't have enough apples for an Apple day, but I have enough protein to eat nothing but that. Screw it.

EDITED TO ADD:

It will be painful. I made and ate 2 huge bowls of creamed spinach soup. Basically 2 bags of spinach boiled, salted, and blended into a slimy pulp. I remember in past rounds this always resulted in a gastronomical event that was extremely painful but with beautiful results on the scale.

I also remember a round where increasing my calories to 750 resulted in jump starting my losses, and having great ones. I'm doubling my protein today. 

VLCD 16 136.8

Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Same meal yesterday as the day before, except I had my strawberries. About 370 calories total.

VLCD 15 135.8

I only ate half my calories yesterday. I felt ill and had a fever. I'm better now - full appetite back. I'm not sure if I'm happy about that. Ha ha. :)

Excuse my language...

...

139.2?????

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VLCD #13 - 137.8

Well, back to the land of frustrating rounds, however, I am not going to complain. Here's what the last few days looked like:

VLCD 11 139.6 - no change from the previous day

VLCD 12 139.4 - meh.

Today, almost a 2 pound drop! I remember past rounds that were like this. Several plateau days followed by a beautiful drop. If I can continue like this, I still have a shot of reaching my goal of 119, or at least close to it. I must remain focused, especially on the days when it feels like this isn't working for me despite my efforts.

I'm working on the emotional crap that I'm releasing along with the weight, however, it's extremely personal and I'm thinking it may not be necessary to share here.it just goes to show that it's important to be vigilant with one's emotional health as well as physical. I neglected both, especially this last year when things came to a head for me in several areas of my life. I finally feel a sense of naked freedom when it comes to that.

On a much lighter note, I have discovered that so long as I can have soup on this protocol, I'm happy. My favorite is asparagus (creamed) and tomato basil. I'm so pleased that I'm still enjoying it! I've also discovered a fun recipe for my cooked frozen strawberries. Normally I make them with cinnamon and vanilla stevia, but I've started adding a splash of apple cider vinegar and a pinch of cayenne. Oh my GOD. This is really fantastic stuff!!

VLCD 10 - 139.6 - as I suspected

Not concerned. I had a hunch. Nothing more to report, really. I'm going to try to make onion soup!