Super late checking in! Another .8 down and at 126.6!

I have been working like mad to get this new website finished. It's in total testing mode right now (in case you're curious, the test site (and it is far from finished) is here: http://www.zencatinc.com/site_flash/ - having ftp issues though so some files aren't loading. GAH).

I'm exhausted so off to bed I go. Another 2.5 weeks to go!

127.2 - officially healthy

WOW. Wowowowow! I am healthy. I am healthy, I can wear my wedding and engagement rings again, I fit in some 8s again, I feel almost like me again.

Oh, and I am now Co-Director of my region for the Democratic Party. One of my political peeps didn't even recognize me last night and even went so far as to say, "I don't believe we've met!". WOW! :D

Not much of a loss... memories of the 130s to 120s tease comes to mind... I am .1 pound from a healthy BMI

Hehehe! Yes, the joke's on me again. 127.8 - according to the charts, 127.7 would put me at a healthy BMI. I'm celebrating anyway. Yeehaw!

I gotta run and get my yoga in - short day for the kids and I need to squeeze it in before I have to get ready for this meeting. Hee!

128

I am pleased as punch. I am sore (I've not worked out in 6 months or so) from yoga and was quite worried that there would be a gain from my muscles hanging on to water, and I weighed pre-BM - even had that not been the case, .5 is a beautiful loss given how slow it had been. I'm thrilled! I am also just .3 pounds from a healthy BMI! Yes, yes, yes! I am fitting in all my 10s (a few are too big) so I've just ordered 8 petite "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" (Tummy tuck jeans) from Zappos. I have 18 more days. I should fit them when it's all said and done this round (though I'd hoped for a 6 - no biggie though, that will happen soon enough).

I'm dosing now and then on to yoga - I hope to get some quick cleaning done before I pick up my daughter and then I must finish the webpage for our new software. I've been approached to possibly take over the position of Democratic Party Regional Director (or at least to share the position if I don't have time to take it on completely) and I'd love for the website to be finished before the central committee meeting so I can direct candidates there for our software. Very exciting! Tomorrow is the meeting. Last time most of these people saw me I was anywhere between 150-168. :D

128.5!

WOOT!!!

Doin' a happy dance here. 2 days in a row with nice losses! I am THRILLED.

This will have to be quick as I need to get dressed and pick up my daughter from school. I managed to do yoga today and get that room cleaned (the rest of the house to follow) so I don't have much time here.

It's a new moon. Endings and beginnings. I am feeling so much more like ME again, after 8 years of drowning. My daughter is young enough she may never remember me when I was sick. That's how it feels - like I've been sick for 8 years.

It's a beautiful day. I'm going to go enjoy it. :)

129.4

Grateful to see the 129.anything today! Yesterday just plain sucked between the inexplicable gain and the migraine. This morning it's a dull ache and my scale was happy once more.

I had the most delicious creation ever last night while watching the awards (GO MILK! GO SLUMDOG!) - cup of frozen strawberries, half a cup of water, juice from 1 lemon, and half a dropper full of vanilla stevia all blended up. Sorbet! It was DIVINE. It felt like I was cheating. Given the loss, I will have this every night. My lord was it delicious!

I've been reporting on the weight issues fairly well but not so much the emotional stuff. I realize I am actually partly afraid of succeeding at this on some level. It's not overwhelming, but there is this fear of getting back to my normal weight and some how not being able to maintain. I get it, as the weight that came on and out of no where (as far as I knew) was scary as hell. I have to say though the fear of NOT losing any more overrides the fear of success. These bizarre low losses and weird gains have been troubling. Still, I did the math. I am still averaging between .5-.6 a day which is average for a woman and about how I did last go.

I really want to see the 100 teens again and I really want to get there this round as I plan on this being my last. I could conceivably do one more in a couple months - a short one - but if I could get to the 1teens I wouldn't feel the need to.

Okay, well I said I'd post while dosing and I haven't so I best go do that - then yoga. I know you're not supposed to start a new fitness regime mid protocol but I think this is worth starting now.

130.3

It's been 8 years.

I remember how significant it was to hit the 130s for me as I'd not seen them in 6 years, and I KNEW if I could make it to the 130s, ANYTHING was possible for me. If I could make it to the 130s, I could get back to my fighting weight of the 100 teens.

I haven't seen the 120s in 8 years. I lost an entire pound overnight and am now 129. I am absolutely stunned. It's still not totally real. Perhaps that's because I was teased all week! Wow, the 120s!!!! I'm down a total of 40 pounds! I am no longer 42 pounds overweight. I am 2 pounds overweight.

This is a beautiful day.

*snicker*... *giggle*... *snort*... *gufaw*

130

Fortunately this has become comical to me.

Are you kidding me?? ARE YOU $%(^*(^%( KIDDING ME?!?!??

130.3

I had 200 grams of chicken and 400 grams of asparagus, and 4 liters of water. 350 calories, 14 grams of carbs.

*cry*

130.4 - oh 120s, you tease me!

Down .5 in 2 days. I'm back to low carbing it today in hopes of shaking the 120s loose.

I oscillate between being happy with where I am and knowing anything else lost is great but not needed, and ready to stop at any moment, and thinking I may as well keep going - I'm half way there and let's just see what happens. Right now the latter is winning.

I had a shot of vodka with my sparkly water and rootbeer stevia last evening. My father lost his job so I had a drink with my parents and discussed options. We've been working on software for some years and are just about ready to release our first version so it could be a blessing now that he can spend 100% of his time on our company. I must trust the universe and take a leap of faith with them. I am very excited about the new software. It's been a long time since we all worked together full time on software and I've missed it so.

Thinking 120 thoughts and major success...

130.9

*shrug*

130.9 - .5 down and less than a pound from the 120s!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm dosing so as not to forget. ;)

So, my breasts still hurt, but now I am having the opposite of constipation, which quite honestly I prefer. At least I did yesterday. Feeling normal right now.

Since the under 20 grams carbs don't seem to be shaking things up in particular anymore, I'm going to add my strawberries back in. I've been having a couple the last couple days, but keeping it still 20 and under on the carbs. Since that isn't part of the protocol, I feel calm about adding them back in.

I'm looking into Wii Fits right now. My parents got one and LOVE it. They have the Wiis at Costco and I can order the fit online. I think I must have one. I've not exercised since before my first round and I know I need it. This sounds like so much fun!

Strange fluctuations within hours but happy to report 131.4!

I weighed during the wee hours at 132.1. I figured I was likely in a stall. My husband let me sleep in this morning since he's on call and boy did I. I woke about 10 minutes ago. It always feels like the old days pre-kids when I sleep past 10! Anyway, I decided to weigh again after using the restroom and it says 131.4! I'm not sure how that's possible, but then again, I'm not sure how much of anything is possible on this protocol. It's all magic to me! :)

I have my HCG under my tongue as I type this as to make sure I did in fact dose this morning! My husband absolutely assures me I did yesterday morning as well. I hope this is preggo brain and nothing more serious. I've forgotten entire conversations with him. Very unnerving.

Just calculated my daily average. This slow down cost me big time. I'm at .66 per day average now. Not bad but I'd hoped for .8 this round. Who knows, maybe things will pick up. I'm still constipated and my breasts are still swollen and painful. :) Woopie!

TTFN

And another thing....

I'm not going to post here unless I've dosed. I can't remember if I took my HCG this morning (my lack of memory truly scares me) so I will make it a habit to dose before I write, since I DO seem to remember to do that (and there's evidence!).

My breasts are swollen and HURT. I'm constipated. I'm up .1 pound.

I'm sure I miscalculated my cycle. I bought one of those ovulation prediction kits last round and never used it. I probably ought to. I just assumed my period started on the full moon because the majority of the time when I had a uterus it did.

Swollen, painful breasts is a dead giveaway. The gain too - as I was 100% protocol. I've also been on a bit of a tear lately. My family fears me.

I had a substantial enough movement after I weighed myself that I'm sure I'm at least even at this point with the weight, though I'd so hoped to see 131.something. Ah well. Goooooooooo with the flooooooooooooow. :)

Thanks again Beaker and Beb - I can't tell you how much it helps having you here to cheer me on. Writing a blog to oneself can make one feel a tad nuts. Having you here to experience this along with me is so helpful.

OH forgot to add - I bought a magic bullet choppy thingie at Costco yesterday! I can't wait to learn how to use it! I'm making a heart shaped quiche for the family tonight and think I'll try it out!

EDITED TO ADD: Just had to take off my rings - my hands are swollen too, so I am definitely hanging on to water. Speaking of those rings... they are my ORIGINAL wedding and engagement bands... I couldn't wear them for the longest time but my replacements got too big! WOO!

132.1 - down .8 :)

Can't tell you how happy I am to see this loss. I weighed myself in the night and had GAINED .3 pounds and was awfully depressed. I told myself to let it go and see what the morning would bring, and tried to tell myself that even if it were the same, I would make it to a healthy BMI this round if nothing else and that in and of itself is a major accomplishment. I'm 5.1 pounds away from that. I have 30 days left of VLCD. :)

.1 down. What could it have been? Extra protien? The shot of vodka left over from mixing? The fact that I calculated what I "could weigh if"?

132.9. Regardless, it's SOOOOOOOOOO good to see 132 (even if followed by the .9).

Last round I had a shot of vodka without incident so I went ahead last night after my husband mixed the 2nd third of my doses. I also had that extra half scoop of jay robb egg white protein. All of this still had me at 450 calories total.

I suspect this is more psychological. Regardless...


Goin' with the floooooooooooooooooow and not tweaking any more. I will do one more day of under 20 carbs and see if I get a big loss. If not, I may bring my strawberries back. I don't miss them when I'm dropping crazy weight but otherwise I do.

I'll keep you posted!

133 today - down .5 - average now .738 per day

I'd hoped for more, but I'll take it!

Okay, I got brave and added half a scoop of Jay Robb Unflavored egg protein this morning. 50 cals, fat free. Given my calorie intake is at 350 per day, I think this may be a good thing. We'll know tomorrow.

I'm also going to cut out my "pizza" herbs that I've been using on my grilled meats. It probably isn't an issue but I figure that little tweak is something to try.

Feeling good! 120s are right around the corner!!

Interesting realization

I don't want to count my chickens before they've hatched... BUT...

I did some calculating. If I average .5 a day (which I did last round, though I had a HUGE stall), I will make 117 by March 15. If I continue at .75 a day, I'll get to...


Drum roll, please...

108!!

This is what I weighed at 19. I fluctuated between 108-113. Now I'm no teen anymore, but this calculation did give me a grin! I really feel like I can relax now instead of trying to beat the clock!

down .8 - 12 VLCD days behind me, today is day 13 and I'm 133.5

Better. Going with the flow.

I've noticed this round has been more difficult. I'm not hungry, but I'm anxious to be done, and yet I have a lot more to lose and fortunately I do have some time. 33 more VLCDs. I need to relax and let go.

I think one of the reasons it's been this way this round versus last round is that this time, I know there's life after HCG. Last round, I was such a miserable lump when I started and watching the weight come off and feeling so much physically and emotionally better than I did before HCG kept me completely satisfied. P3 and P4 I found out I could maintain. I felt great. Now, I have started round 2 as a pretty happy person and I know there is life after HCG which has me so anxious to get to it. I really, really, really need to relax.

It is still possible I'll reach my original goal of 115.

"Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail!" -Charles Kettering

Liquid smoke ain't my friend. Down .1 pound.

The chicken was DELICIOUS but not worth the lack of loss. I'll hold onto the liquid smoke for when P2 is over.

Going to halibut today which gave me great losses before. :)

Down another .9 pounds! I've never been so consistent this far into it!

Okay, this under 20 grams of carbs is WORKING for me! I've still not been brave enough to add an extra scoop of protein powder per day but maybe I don't need to. I'm adjusting and the scale is once again my dear, dear friend. I'm at 134.4 today! I can't even remember the last time I was there. Probably a few months after my daughter was born (I was always able to lose with breastfeeding but gained right after that stopped). I got down to 130. She's 6 now. I know breaking the 130 mark will be one of the most major accomplishments in this process. I am so very close!

Thanks again for all the support!

WOW. Down 1.3 pounds!!

I didn't add extra protein but did keep my carbs to less than 20. This gave me a total calorie intake of just 350 but I did drop more than I expected to!

I'm not sure if I can stick to the protocol at under 20 carbs without extra protein. It wasn't an easy day, though not because I was hungry - just less energetic.

I know in order to stabilize I need at least 21 days totally protocol so I think I may experiment now with the extra egg white protein and lower carbs until the last 21 days (if it works for me) and at that point go back to the good Dr.'s instructions. Losing this weight will be pointless unless I can stabilize.

So my average now is .81 pounds per day. Better!

Down a pound. Phew. The average is .75 a day now

136.6 this morning. Total of 6 pounds down in 8 days (3 load pounds). I had definitely hoped for more this early but I am determined to just goooooooo with the flowwwwwww. I need to lose 3.5 a week to get to 118 (my new goal) by March 15 but we'll see.

The BIG news is I am LESS THAN 10 pounds away from a healthy BMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I experimented yesterday a bit. I did 160 grams of halibut for lunch and 1 scoop of egg white protein powder for dinner. This gave me a little extra protein without the added fat. I am going to go back to normal today and see what tomorrow brings. I am seriously considering doing 1 scoop of protein powder for breakfast and dinner and 100 grams of chicken or fish for lunch. Extra protein without the extra fat. I think I'm craving the protein because of my upcoming TOM. My only concern is that I know that deviating from the protocol is risking not stabilizing in P3/P4. Then again, they didn't have these egg white protein shakes when Dr. S was around. I don't know, I don't know! I stabilized so beautifully in P3 last time.

Thanks for all the support!!

Goin' with the flooooow.... .2 down

Not much. I am having BMs daily, too. I am SURE this is PMS. Hanging in there. I am debating upping my protein portions from 100 grams twice a day to 150 twice a day and cutting way down on the strawberries (maybe as a nightly snack if I absolutely must have something).

OH! Hee!

Okay, so I'm listening to my "self talk" as I'm driving home from dropping off the kids and I hear myself think "Atkins is easier than this and I had better results in the first week." and I had a light bulb go off in my mind. I said EXACTLY the same thing last round. I lost 30 pounds in 60 days last round that I've managed to keep off. I had hoped to lose another 25 pounds this round but have less time and am obviously closer to my goal this time than last so I am going to ...

RELAX.

I know I'll get to the 120s this round. 127 is a normal BMI weight for me (though I want to be enough below that weight to be able to play 2 pounds up or down without going over a healthy BMI, so 125 is really where I need to be this round). I'd love to get to 115. I just don't know how realistic that is anymore. It seemed perfectly reasonable before I started this round.

Anyway, I will relax. I know I can at least get to a healthy weight this go. I don't want to go 60 days again, it's just way too intense. I may or may not do a 3rd round after this. I may be at a place where I can get lipo, a tummy tuck, and my breasts redone and that would knock off the last 10 pounds.

So, that's where I'm at! OH and sans uterus it's hard for me to predict my TOM but I feel PMSy -that may account for SOMETHING.

Thanks for all the support guys!

I don't know how I'm going to stay motivated given this is week one.

I lost exactly what my calorie tracker said I would at 450 calories a day (regardless of HCG). .5 pounds. I'm at 137.6 this morning despite a major BM and peeing all day. *sigh* I start week 2 of VLCD tomorrow. Last round, that's when things began to really slow. I'm going to try to keep my chin up.

ORANGE ROUGHY!!! :(

No loss. At least it wasn't a gain but this is only day 5. PLEASE GODS OF HCG LET THIS ONLY BE ONE DAY AND LET THE LOSSES RESUME TOMORROW!!

Oh, and I'm hungry. First time so far. Wonder if it's psychological.

Eeek. Orange roughy.

I pulled some pre-measured meat from my last round out of the freezer. I cooked white fish that I assumed was halibut but after one bite, I realized it was orange roughy. At least that is what the fish person at the store said it was. There is visible grease when it is cooked and last round I didn't lose when I ate it, or lost very little. I hope the one bite I took doesn't mess me up. The rest is in the dog bowl (lucky girl) and I'm cooking chicken now. GAH.

FEELING GREAT!

Okay, I totally intended to update daily and will from now on.

I was so disappointed that first day (and a little scared, quite frankly) but I had a 2 pound drop the next day. Day after that, a half pound. This morning I am another 1.5 lighter so in 4 days, I've lost 4.5 pounds an am 1.5 pounds under my pre-load weight.

I remember last round I lost about a pound a day average that first week and I remember too being disappointed it wasn't more as so many had such huge losses that first week, but then again I don't gain massive amounts on my loads. I was lucky to gain 3 pounds this go around (and I mean lucky - unlike last round, I am NOT HUNGRY! I was starving the first week or so last round).

So I'm actually doing better than last round this first week! I will be through the first week of VLCD on Thursday.

138.1 today!

I REALLY want to hit 115 this time but I only have 41 days left and that is 23 pounds so that is pushing it but I think I can get close! Only 11.1 pounds to go to a healthy BMI! WOOHOO!

Release...release...release... :D

Thanks for all the support!