129.4

Grateful to see the 129.anything today! Yesterday just plain sucked between the inexplicable gain and the migraine. This morning it's a dull ache and my scale was happy once more.

I had the most delicious creation ever last night while watching the awards (GO MILK! GO SLUMDOG!) - cup of frozen strawberries, half a cup of water, juice from 1 lemon, and half a dropper full of vanilla stevia all blended up. Sorbet! It was DIVINE. It felt like I was cheating. Given the loss, I will have this every night. My lord was it delicious!

I've been reporting on the weight issues fairly well but not so much the emotional stuff. I realize I am actually partly afraid of succeeding at this on some level. It's not overwhelming, but there is this fear of getting back to my normal weight and some how not being able to maintain. I get it, as the weight that came on and out of no where (as far as I knew) was scary as hell. I have to say though the fear of NOT losing any more overrides the fear of success. These bizarre low losses and weird gains have been troubling. Still, I did the math. I am still averaging between .5-.6 a day which is average for a woman and about how I did last go.

I really want to see the 100 teens again and I really want to get there this round as I plan on this being my last. I could conceivably do one more in a couple months - a short one - but if I could get to the 1teens I wouldn't feel the need to.

Okay, well I said I'd post while dosing and I haven't so I best go do that - then yoga. I know you're not supposed to start a new fitness regime mid protocol but I think this is worth starting now.