Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Day 4 P2 after the interruption 120.4 ( -.7 total gain since interruption 2.3)

Well, that's the right direction, though of course I'd hoped for more. I released EXACTLY what my fitness program, which tracks my metabolism, said I'd lose.

Guys, THANK YOU for all the loving support you've given me! It makes this upcoming Dr's appointment less scary knowing I have you all here for me.

Slight change of plans...

I had forgotten that I'd increased my dose in previous rounds. 3 sprays = approx 125 iu. 4 sprays = approx 166 iu. SO, with the new mix, I've actually been dosing at 332 iu twice a day, NOT 250 twice a day as advised. Gads! So this means I will actually gain 2.5 more days this last vial by dosing correctly at 3 sprays twice a day. So, Wednesday morning will be my last dose day. Let's hope with the new dosing amount that the drops will be better, and this gives me that many more days to make up for the gains I've experienced.

I had my wrap and I have to say that is a truly euphoric experience. I leave feeling energized, clear, happy, and calm. It is so wonderful. I had very clear visions of my future. I dreamed about it last night as well. I also realized that I've been carrying some deep fear of my future and the changes coming.

I've been told that certain ailments are your body's way of trying to get your attention. The wrap I did before my trip, I had the very clear message that my swollen foot had to do with me not knowing how to take the next step in my life. That was truly an ah-ha moment for me. Still, my foot (though less) continued to swell. Yesterday, I realized how afraid I am of taking that next step (which is funny, as my motto has always been "leap before you look"). I've been in the same home for 8 years. I've been in the same city for 9. I'm VERY comfortable. My business is suddenly really taking off (I just picked up another buyer!). The fear of leaving all that has been very strong. I felt reminded yesterday that I've always been taken care of. That when I didn't get what I thought I wanted, even better things came along. That I never gained anything by being timid. I wouldn't have the marriage I have today if that was who I was. I wouldn't have the business I have today if that was who I was.

I'm ready for the change. I'm thrilled to be so busy with my business, but I also know that it's very stressful work, and I don't do well with stress. I'm great at what I do and I'd always wanted to do this and now I can say that I have, and have done very well at it, and I can move on. I want to go out with a bang and on  my terms when I leave it, but I do want to transition to the HCG coaching, write my story about it, and perhaps get a job pouring wine (which would be so fun and a whole lot less stressful than being responsible for most people's biggest financial investments!). Of course as long as we're here, I'll continue doing what I'm doing, but I'm no longer afraid of the changes, and am actually really excited about the idea. I can see very clearly what I want and am excited. I can see my husband and children happy and excited too.

Wow, this was a lot longer than I'd anticipated writing! If you made it this far, thanks! :D

EDITED TO ADD

I think I messed up my math - I've already done 3 days and at 3 sprays twice a day I'd have 10 days total, but I've already done 3, plus the extra sprays which would equal one day lost so that makes my last dose day Monday. Agh! Isn't that right? I think it is...

6 comments:

Kathryn said...

Yes, we are riding the same wave. It's all about impending change these days and kind of being caught midstream and not knowing where you're going to end up.

Do you have to move out of state when your house sells?

helderheid said...

I would most likely rent my home and keep it as a financial investment given the tax benefits rather than sell in this market. I'm a great property manager, so I'm very comfortable doing that!

Lis said...

You sound so centered and comfortable with the future, a good place to be! I am glad that your business has picked up, but even more excited that you know where you want to go - how empowering for you!
And I agree, pouring wine would be a GREAT job!!!
Good loss today, by Wednesday I will bet you are under 115!
Love and hugs!

ookiecrisp said...

You have inspired me so much! I just started the protocol. I'm on my 2nd load day! I'm starting to believe it will work for me, because just like you (when you first started the program) I am 5 feet and 161 lbs!

Your journey is so inspiring!

helderheid said...

Lis thanks! I think I messed my math though - I took enough extra to subtract 1 day of doses with the correct dosing, but I've already had 3 so I think my last day is Monday. So confused! Regardless, I'll get back down to an acceptable place! I AM feeling really good right now.

Ookie! I am now following your blog at http://saromin.blogspot.com/ ! I am SO excited to follow you! I'm glad my story could help! :)

lavenderdiva said...

Your post today made me smile! It radiated happiness & joy! You feel very centered and focused. I'm thrilled to bits for you- It will all unfold for you at the right time and you'll be ready for whatever changes are in store for you. I'm very excited for you!!!!

love you much!