Friday, November 6, 2009

No way. NO FREAKIN' WAY! 117.4!

Needless to say, I dosed.

I am a little concerned that my HCG is losing potency by the minute given I have stopped for a few days on this bottle already. I think if I stop again, I better stay stopped as the HCG must be fading and I don't want to screw with stabilization. 117.4! 116.8 on the old one! Holy cow! I am WELL into the really healthy BMI zone where I'm not nearly so concerned anymore. YIPPEE!!

Okay, I'm going to try to relay what the psychic said while it's still fresh.

Before doing the cards, she asked for my husband's birth date and looked at his numbers. Apparently he's going through "the dark night of the soul" right now.

I explained my past briefly and explained where we're at now, what is happening with the children here, our lack of friends, my family having moved away, a husband who is sleeping the weekends away, etc., and that I want to leave and that it's taken me a long time to give myself permission to even feel this way at all. I told her that his company is based in Portland and I do have family there and that's where I want to go. All this time, she was shuffling her cards. She doesn't know (or does she??? ;) ) that I have that very deck and also read tarot cards, and though people interpret cards and positions a bit differently, I could at least get the gist of the cards. She pointed out several "moving" cards and said, "I shuffled the cards myself on purpose in case you were being delusional about this. You're not blowing smoke up your ass. I didn't pull any illusion cards. Lots of change and moving cards." and then pointed out one that she said indicates a location by the water with fog. I'd never read that card that way before, but the picture did match that description.

She said my husband is stubborn and difficult, but that he loves me deeply and though he doesn't recognize just how miserable he is, it was obvious he's stuck. I told her that he's actually beginning to recognize this himself, albeit very slowly. On a number of occasions he's remarked the lack of life we have. He just doesn't equate that with being here, and he's partly right there too. It's easy to get stuck in a comfortable routine, not make time to hire a babysitter and go out. Problem is, there is no where here we really want to go.

So, she summed it up that with some very good dialog. That this wasn't me being selfish. That I have been agonizing about this, and examining my feelings against past patterns and this really doesn't have to do with that. That this has to do with not having a life here, no friends, no family, the children being told they're going to hell if they don't convert is unacceptable and they shouldn't have to deal with this, and that I am watching him slip away into a depression and that I'm saying this and doing this totally from a place of love. From caring enough about my family to insist this change. His position is safe in Portland, the market is great for buyer's out there and we have enough equity in this one that selling now would be just fine.

She said he may balk a bit but that's his pattern to do so but that he needs this move as well, and she sees him making the move. Time frame is within the next year. I'll be ready anytime between January 2010-January 2011, and he'll be ready closer to December 2010.

It was a relief to hear I wasn't being delusional. She pulls no punches and doesn't tell you what you want to hear. She really tuned into his energy.

So, that was the gist of it!

Thanks for EVERYTHING all y'all! *HUGS*


Christy in Seattle said...

Wow! Look at you, skinny! :)

I hope that things work out for the best with your living situation!

helderheid said...

Thanks so much! Right now, getting me in order is my first priority. I'm feeling so much better physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My self confidence is BACK. No more hiding. :)

lavenderdiva said...

Sounds like a good day all round! Congratulations on yet ANOTHER dip! 117.4/116.8 is just terrific-

how old is your mix? I would think you would be struggling more and feeling hungry if your mix was old, so I'm thinking that it hasn't lost potency yet? I've been having a problem with my spray bottles. This mix I only used vodka & distilled water thinking that eliminating the subl. B-12 would make a less gunky mix. My spray bottle worked really well initially, but as of yesterday, it started being finicky on me.

I'm so glad that your reading was spot on, and that she gave you the insights you were seeking. She sounds very gifted. I'm also happy that she saw your husband coming around. I would agree that your husband is stuck. I just don't think he sees a way to change the situation, so he has shut down; hence, his sleeping the weekends away. You are ahead of him on this one-- be patient, he'll come around.

hugs to you-

Caitlin Murphy said...

Congratulations on the further loss and feeling like you can take on whatever you need to in the future. A change can be a wonderful thing especially when you have confidence and courage! :)

helderheid said...

Thank you thank you thank you!!

I'm not having any hunger issues... I was just concerned about staying on it if it was no longer potent, but then again when that happens, I'll know by the hunger. DUH!

nikkispower said...

Love that whole psychic experience. I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable with your decisions.