Thursday, October 22, 2009

Executive decision

I've been wondering since I've not lost any weight, abnormal or otherwise, how I am surviving on 500 calories a day. I hope I'm not damaging anything! Anyway, I will increase my calories tomorrow. I have some plain unsweetened Jay Robb egg white protein shake mix that I will make a morning smoothie mixed with strawberries and a little vanilla stevia for breakfast. That will add 130-150 calories right there. I am also planning on doubling my protein portions which will add an additional 200 calories. That gets me to around 800. I may increase my sorbet as well. I'm looking forward to it as I've been stuffing myself with so many cucumbers that there was no way I'd be hungry. I like cucumbers, but 2 pounds a serving is a tad much. I will re-start yoga (and maybe pilates) as well.

Technically I could stop dosing Saturday and start the 72 hour thing Sunday. I'm thinking though of extending it one week with my last dose Oct 30. This would have me end the 72 hours on the full moon. I started on the full moon so it seems most appropriate.

I'm forming a letter in my mind to my husband explaining why I've been so checked out and why I've been so afraid to talk to him about certain things. We need to reconnect that way. We both need to be able to express from the heart without fear. I'm getting there. I can actually conceive of it now which even yesterday was hard to do. Hopefully he'll see that these have been my own demons to deal with but because of them, I need his defenses down when I approach him about my feelings. I have great hope and faith he'll get that.

I thank you all again and bid you adieu.

1 comment:

Christy in Seattle said...

I think you made a great decision to increase your calories a little bit.

I'll send good thoughts about that letter to your husband. I know how scary that can be!